Daddy's Little Obfuscator

"Some people just don't believe me," she says. More than once, Donovan has been reduced to buying gallons of Wesson Oil from Winn-Dixie.

Grease cars, as they're called, don't seem to have caught on in South Florida like Brazilian bikini waxes, though the 'Pipe could find no data tracking them. They get the same mileage an ordinary vehicle would, and they require only the addition of a second fuel tank and filter mechanism. As Donovan demonstrates, it smells better — or at least more edible — than sulphur-laden exhaust when it's idling.

Reuters Photo Archive

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Donovan's helping the planet, since vegetable oil doesn't contribute to global warming. But what's with these Florida cook fry Neanderthals? Donovan says she didn't have a problem getting donated grease up in the land of red lobsters and maple syrup. Here's hoping the grease car can keep on truckin'.

— As told to Edmund Newton