Bad Cop, Bad Cop

How not to promote change at the Hollywood PD

Take Mitch Ceasar. Please.

Mitch Ceasar, don't quit your day job. In a March 1 appearance on NBC 6's morning show, South Florida Today, the chairman of the Broward County Democratic Party admitted to having aspirations toward a career in comedy. Jealous that the star of Judge Larry Seidlin is rising faster than his own, and maybe hoping that some Hollywood producers were still watching, Ceasar broke into a lounge act commentary on the Anna Nicole Smith case.

"What you really have is a white trash soap opera, but frankly that's being incredibly unfair to white trash," Ceasar quipped.

So, this guy walks into a bar with Anna Nicole's head underneath his right arm...
photo by C. STiles
So, this guy walks into a bar with Anna Nicole's head underneath his right arm...

Rough start. Take another shot, chairman. What do you make of those reports that prior to her death Anna Nicole was seen staggering around the Hollywood Hard Rock casino, apparently in a drug-induced haze?

"I don't think it had anything to do with drugs. My explanations have to do with the fact she got an incredibly slanted breast implant."

Pretty crude stuff, Mitch. This material would make Andrew Dice Clay gag.

"The real issue has been about the disposition of Anna Nicole's body -- not... how many guys in North America have been with that body."

That crack offends on several levels -- mostly for its complete lack of originality or wit. Crowd's turning against you, Mitch. Speed it up.

"We know what it means when an attorney faints in South Florida. What does it mean?"

Mitch, no one's asking that question but you. No one wants to hear the answer. We've got to —


Fair enough. You're going out with a bang.

"South Florida continues to be the Bermuda Triangle of weirdness, but unlike the Bermuda Triangle, unfortunately, nobody disappears."

That's where you're wrong, Mitch. Give him the hook, boys.

Ten minutes later — after the instructional segment on growing orchids — host Tony Segreto slapped on a grave expression and stated: "We're getting a number of comments already about Mitch Ceasar, who we had on earlier." Indeed, Segreto had introduced Ceasar as a "good friend," joking that he was such a regular that the station gave him a 401(K). But Ceasar's comedic turn may have put the kibosh on all of that.

"We wanted to apologize for some of the comments (Ceasar) made," Segreto said. "We certainly did not expect the comments that he made today to come out the way they did. As it is now, NBC 6 is not planning to have him back on the show."

The crowd goes wild.

— As told to Edmund Newton

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