One moment, she's lobbing bombs at the Lindsay Lohans of the world; the next, she's giving a poignant dissertation on the death of Kitty Carlisle Hart and just when she has you in a cozy place, WHAM!, she clobbers you over the head with a diatribe on the Iraq disaster. Amazingly, youre actually angry right along with her. The Bernhard rage is that infectious. Then, whats that? It's time for a song?! Suddenly you're bathed in the richness of her delicious alto, tastefully balancing jazz standards with Guns & Roses. It would all seem self-indulgent and obtuse except for the fact that she's so, so good. Shell promote her latest CD, Everything Bad & Beautiful, at the Colony Theater (1040 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach) Saturday and Sunday. Tonight, theres a 7:30 and 10:00 show. Tickets range from $45 to $100. Get ´em from Ticketmaster, or go straight to the Colony Theater to exchange the surcharge for fuel prices. Call 305-674-1040, or visit www.sandrabernhard.com.