Wingin' It

Our mission is to patrol Bryant Park during the city's Independence Day celebration. It includes a slew of food stands, some jumbo trampolines, a Grateful Dead cover band, a Kiss cover band, and a lot of drunken townies. Only four Lake Worth Angels have shown up for the occasion — Siew, Ryan, myself, and Richard Head, an original Lake Worth Angel and our patrol leader.

The Fort Myers Angels started up around the same time as Lake Worth's. But their nine recruits have been training for a solid three months and are ready to graduate in a couple of weeks, Martinez says. Smiling, he asks Siew when his recruits will graduate.

Siew doesn't answer. There is in fact no date set for our graduation. Most of our recruits have attended only a handful of patrols and just one martial arts class. "There's no way it's been three months," Siew says.

"Yesss," Martinez says, teasing Siew.

"Well, I have to do more speeches, and I have to do more press" is Siew's explanation. Then he refocuses the conversation on the mission at hand.

"We're going to be hit up with this rain, guys," Siew says, surveying the overcast sky and questioning whether the estimated turnout — 25,000 — might be optimistic. Head places a blue whistle over my head. If things get hectic, my job is to blow the whistle, call 911, then take off running to find help.

"If we see somebody smoking pot, what do we do?" somebody asks.

"Smack their face," Siew says. "I did that one time... We were down off of Lake Worth Road... This guy is dealing right in front of me... talking all kinds of smack... I went 'WHAM' and pushed him. He goes flying. I said, 'Oh, that was assault, wasn't it?' You want me to call 911 for you?"

"That shuts him right up," Head says.

"He was pissed," Siew continues. "I smashed his drugs into the ground and everything. We can't do that stuff here. But if you see anyone with drugs, go ahead, take it away. Just make sure it's not a cigarette."

We begin to march toward Bryant Park. At every stop, the Fort Myers guys circle up and cover one another's backs. If one Angel leaves the group to talk to somebody, a Fort Myers Angel will follow. (No Angel should ever be alone.)

When we arrive at the festival, we gather around Head for a pep talk. Head is an ex-Marine who owns a home repair business and looks like a stout Jon Voight. Before going out on patrol, he always listens to Guns N' Roses' "Welcome to the Jungle" to get pumped.

"Today, our mission is to steal the hearts and minds of everybody," Head says. "Go out there. Shake hands. Kiss babies. Pet puppies. Whatever we have to do. Make them love us. And if I may quote John Wayne, 'Grab 'em by the balls, because if you grab 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.' Angels on three."

We all put our hand in a circle, like a high school basketball team. "1,2,3, Angels!" everybody shouts, except Ryan, who looks perplexed.

"I've seen every John Wayne movie, and he's never said that," he says.

After a quick patrol around the park, with numerous handshakes and nods of appreciation, it's time for a cigarette break.

The entire group of Angels retreats behind a garbage dump; most light up. Siew instructs us to take off our berets, as the smoking sets a bad example. But whatever we do, don't let the beret hit the ground, Martinez adds.

The weather has dampened the evening, and nowhere near 25,000 people show. The event winds up as just another opportunity to demonstrate our presence. At the request of Ramiccio, the former mayor, Guardian Angel, and current president of the Chamber of Commerce, the Angels land a cupcake assignment — manning the VIP entrance.

Guard duty. Siew says this won't happen again.

The leader is aware that his chapter is flailing.

On our most recent patrol, we meet behind the Chamber of Commerce on a Friday night. Siew has brought with him a list of rules that we've been breaking. It's time to get serious here.

First of all, there will be no more smoking on patrols. There needs to be a higher level of commitment. We must keep talking to a minimum and keep our eyes and ears open. We must circle up every time we stop. We must know our position on a "takedown" before the patrol starts and work as a team. And of course, we must maintain professional attitudes and appearances. That means showering. Looking presentable. Remembering we are representing the Angels at every minute on patrol.