Phalling Phast

At this point in the season, fans of bad teams cite tiny gifts as solace for a year gone to spore. For instance, when the Marlins recently lost their sixth straight, they did so to the last-place Giants, in front of a crowd that would fit comfortably in your average grocery store parking lot. And with Miguel Cabrera riding pine most of the game for showing up late to the stadium – but at least when Cabrera did enter the game, in the eighth, he singled in a run!

Yeah, aside from Hanley Ramirez’ emergence as the best young shortstop anywhere, it’s pretty lean times for the Marlins. The upshot: With a month remaining in the season, the Marlins at least have a chance to play the spoiler. The matinee on the eve of Labor Day will conclude a six-game homestand against the Braves and Phillies, two teams still scrapping for a Wild Card playoffs berth. The Phillies this summer became the first team with 10,000 losses, and haven’t been to the playoffs since 1993. Beating them on the precipice of the postseason breeds just the kind of company misery loves. Boo the city that booed Santa Claus on Sunday at 1:05 at Dolphin Stadium (2269 NW 199 St., Miami). Tickets start at $9. Kick it old school by buying them at the gate, or incur service charges via florida.marlins.mlb.com, or by calling Ticketmaster at 954-523-3309.
Sun., Sept. 2, 1 p.m.