Curse of the Dead

Stern's star witness, of course, will surely be Dr. Joshua Perper, who can be expected to testify that his own objective research and consultation with police and state prosecutors led him to rule that Anna Nicole was not murdered by Stern or anyone else. Rather, she died by accident.

It is still not clear whether Stern is suing O'Quinn despite his dread of the media or if he's doing so for the sake of the media.

Wood will argue for the former. "We will receive a level of media attention with this lawsuit," he said recently in a weary tone. "But the alternative is to do nothing. So while Mr. Stern does not welcome the media attention, he understands that it is a byproduct of going to litigate with Mr. O'Quinn for the accusations he made."

Stern understands, Wood added, that his suit invites subpoena-powered scrutiny of his past, but he welcomes it. "There's nothing about Mr. Stern's life with Anna Nicole Smith that he's concerned about discussing."

It is evident that Stern's side perceives him to have lost last spring's trial-by-media and that this more official trial can provide a second chance to make a more favorable impression.

"While the lawsuits are not brought to litigate in the court of public opinion," Wood said, "part of that process is that Mr. Stern is not the individual portrayed in the media."

O'Quinn's side is currently preoccupied with its effort to convince presiding Judge William Dimitrouleas that the defamation case should be tried in Houston. Of course, O'Quinn is much too wealthy to argue that flying back and forth to Fort Lauderdale is a financial burden. Rather, it's for the sake of convenience and based on the fact that O'Quinn made some of his allegedly defamatory remarks while in his downtown Houston law office.

One of those two regions, then, must accept the burden of another trial-for-the-tabloids, not to mention the specter of a star-crossed celebrity who could imitate Marilyn Monroe's body and even her mysterious death but not nearly her charm. Either South Florida is destined to have another symbol of its excesses or a restless ghost will soon be heading back to her home state.