will.i.am

Songs About Girls (will.i.am Music Group/Interscope)

Derivative, repetitive, insipid, insincere, and pandering, Songs About Girls also has the worst insert booklet in recent memory — seven pages of will.i.am mugging in a checkered suit. Get over yourself! To be fair, the first song, "Over," a lover's lament featuring a sample from Electric Light Orchestra (never a bad thing) isn't terrible. But with a first single like "I Got It From My Mama," the ship crashes directly into the iceberg. It's an almost note-for-note rip-off of "My Humps," which means, we guess, that there's a new worst single of the millennium. On "The Donque Song," Snoop regurgitates some of his Doggystyle rhymes over a techno beat, and then, on "One More Chance," will vomits up this gem: "I know you want more than a dick in ya/You want a good nigga to stick with ya." "Fantastic" contains yet another sample of the Jackson 5's "I Want You Back," and "S.O.S." (are we done yet?) is an anti-global-warming power ballad. It's hard to get upset about it. Perhaps the culture that produced this album deserves our fate.

 
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