Web Exclusive: Interview with Michael Ian Black

MIB: I’d be tympani.

NT: Why?

MIB: I just think tympani are cool. Is the singular of tympani tympano? Or is tympani always tympani?

NT: I just don’t know the answer to that.

MIB: You don’t know what tympani is do you?

NT: I know…I’ve heard of it. I know it’s part of the orchestra.

MIB: Alright, but there’s a lot of instruments in the orchestra, Ashley.

NT: Who’s doing this interview?

MIB: Fine, but don’t flaunt your own ignorance. I mean…

NT: Alright, I’m going to bring this to a close before you embarrass me more.

MIB: You’re embarrassing yourself. I haven’t done anything. You’re a journalist. You know, your job is to know words.

NT: Alright this is getting very cruel. I’ve already told you that you’re my hero and now you’re just breaking me down. I’m gonna go cry.

MIB: No. no. I just, I just. You know, you gotta prepare for the interview. You’ve gotta be prepared for whatever I say. If I say tympani, boom, you gotta know what that is.

NT: Alright, well, it’s been really nice talking to you.

NT: Um, hey do you want to play some poker down here?

MIB: It depends, is there good poker in South Florida?

NT: Oh yeah, Seminole Hard Rock. Anna Nicole died there, you know.

MIB: Here’s the problem with the Seminole Hard Rock. They don’t have no limit…it’s a ridiculous system. So poker in South Florida, as far as I know, is not very good.

NT: Well, that’s true, but you’re an addict, right? You have to play, regardless.

MIB: Months will go by when I don’t play. I’ve got a family and everything. I can’t be playing poker.

NT: Do you miss it when you’re not playing?

MIB: Not particularly. When I start playing again, I want to play all the time. When I stop I don’t even think about it.

NT: When you play too much does it get boring?

MIB: No, it just gets disgusting. It just gets a little bit nasty. Like you’re up till 3 a.m. like I was last night. That kind of thing…On [an Internet] tournament site, I just looked and I’m one of the top 10. I’m actually number one.

NT: You’re proud of that aren’t you?

MIB: Well, I don’t even know what it means. I actually don’t know what that means. But I’m number one. I’ve never been number one in anything.

NT: You’ve been number one in my book for a long time.

MIB: Thanks Ash…Now how old are you?

NT: I’m 26.

MIB: You’re young. You’re young.

NT: It’s true.

MIB: Although, if I get divorced. Typically, a second marriage, the women is 10 to 12 years younger than the man. So that would work out fine for us.

NT: Yeah, that’s kind of what I’m counting on.

MIB: Let’s do that. Let’s do that at some point.

NT: Definitely. So I’m coming to your show. I’ll come say hello. Get some rest, and I’ll see you in a few weeks.

MIB; Alright, Ashley.

NT: Take care.