Psychostick

If you're as sick as we are of hearing trite, toe-the-line renditions of holiday classics on throwaway compilations put out solely to feed the commercialization of Christmas, then Psychostick's Flesh Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride may be just the coal you need in your stocking. The comical metal band throws "tidings of comfort and joy" out the window right away, opening this eight-song EP with a ballsy bastardization called "Doom to the World." From there, we get "Holiday Hate" and "Jolly Ol' Sadist," both of which sound like S.O.D. strangling Anthrax at a Headbanger's Ball holiday bash. There's also the chugging, bottom-heavy "Jingle Bell Metal," which talks more about stomping on your balls than jingling your bells, a 24-second thrash metal wig-out version of "Silent Night," and the last track, "Happy F@&#ing New Year," which boasts some fat-ass, badass bass lines. With seasonal screamers like this, who needs to hear Michael Bolton sing about chestnuts roasting on an open fire?