The Kosher Salami Hustler

Everyone wants to be part of whatever world they can’t fit into. It’s the basic principle of marketing: The rich want to slum it with the club kids; the club kids want to look rich. That’s why magazines dress up outrageously hip, young, and penniless kids in $1,000 sunglasses – that way the older rich people who can afford to buy those Versace aviators, will. This could also explain why rapper Mickey Avalon fits in with every crowd imaginable.

A former heroin addict, pot dealer (a skill he learned from his mother), prostitute, and Orthodox Jew, Avalon looks like Johnny Thunders in a CK One ad. Simply by existing he inadvertently blends the lines between trashy and plush, overabundance and anorexia, and of course – haves and have mores. He croons songs about debutante balls, as well as tunes telling debutantes exactly what they can do with his balls. Paris Hilton loves him. So does your dad. And roughly 270,000 MySpace friends. Be warned: All of them (sans Hilton) will be in the crowd at Mansion (1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach) on Friday to see Avalon in the sweaty flesh.
Fri., Jan. 11, 2008