Pray to the Football Gods

Yes, folks, it’s here! Our most coveted national holiday, the Super Bowl, is that time of year when we congregate in the glow of crystalline high definition displays, open our hearts and minds to inane commercials, and guzzle gallons upon gallons of cheap, foamy beer. It’s a beautiful thing, and this year’s incarnation of the circus-like affair is brimming with storylines: Will Tom Brady and the 18-0 Patriots reach the zenith of perfection by trumping Eli Manning and his plucky Giants? Will Manning mature into the quarterback we always hoped he would become? Will advertisers finally launch their master plan… a massive, floating zeppelin in the shape of Peyton Manning’s head, his voice commanding from on high to use your MasterCard to sign up for Sprint so you can order DirecTV and watch the end result on Sony televisions?

Unfortunately, we won’t know the answers to these questions until after the game. But there is a query that you must answer posthaste: Where will you watch the game? The options are plentiful, friends, so allow us to help point you in the direction of some mighty fine Super Bowl parties. Such as the one taking place at Brass Monkey Primate Pub (10190 W. Sample Rd., Coral Springs). The funkiest monkey in town is celebrating the latest New York vs. Boston rivalry with free meatball and sausage subs, hot dogs, and popcorn throughout the game, plus the happiest happy hour in Coral Springs: $2.50 domestics, $3.25 imports, and $3 well drinks. There’s a great local vibe in the joint, and no cover at all. Visit www.brassmonkeytavern.com.

For a slightly more Roman experience, the Clubhouse (formerly Conine’s; 5181 Sheridan St., Hollywood) is the place to be. Fifty large not only gets you an all-access pass to the Clubhouse’s expansive buffet of finger-y foods (think wings, fries, cheese sticks, mini sandwiches), but also free reign to slug back as much beer, wine, and well drinks as you can safely manage. Alas, there will not be a Roman-style purgatorium, but we find parking lots work just as well. Call 954-983-9377.

Finally, for those thrill-seekers looking for the largest of displays possible on which to watch the game, the party goin’ down at Cinema Paradiso (503 SE 6 St, Ft. Lauderdale) may be your Valhalla. (1) It’s a movie theater. And, (2) they’re showing the Super Bowl. You put it together. Plus it’s free, there’ll be gourmet sandwiches courtesy of CP’s little café, and $2.50 Phukets (that’s beer, you perv) all night. Visit www.fliff.com.
Sun., Feb. 3, 2008