Breakup Bash

This was so much fun, we can't wait to get a divorce

Speaking of gold chains, a man who accessorized his with multiple rings saw me scribbling in my notebook and beckoned me over.

"I know a bunch of younger women; I give them advice all the time," David Levi, told me.

"So, you've been divorced, then?" I asked.

"Three times," David said. "The first marriage was to this Chinese woman who left me when she found someone richer. The second one . . . well, I don't count it, it actually only lasted 24 hours. And the third woman got pregnant, and one day she cleaned the house and took off. But you know — women go crazy when they get pregnant sometimes."

The rough lesson that three failed marriages taught him?

"Marry for love," he said. "It's what I'm gonna do next time."

Music: The first song I heard booming from the DJ booth was an unmatchable anthem of the broken-hearted: "I Will Survive." Seriously, disco goes with divorce better than Häagen-Dazs.

As the evening wore on, "Love Stinks" came blasting from the speakers and brought everyone back on their feet. I was dawdling near the information table, checking out pamphlets, when two women perusing the table turned and began screeching the lyrics in my direction. While I was speculating on whether they were drunk, bitter, or both, one of them screamed: "What, don't you know this song? Haven't you seen Wedding Singer?"

Yeah, but I guess it's just one of those things I won't get until after my first divorce. Which, after seeing how much fun divorcees have, I can't wait. Forget holy matrimony and the suburban white picket fence! Watching people twice my age party hardcore and then stumble off the dance floor with sexy strangers undid years of good parenting in a single night. The truth was revealed: Marriage is just something you gotta get through to get to the party.

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