Where the Wild Things Are

You’ve sat around watching late night cable enough times to learn this all-important truth about the world: College kids + booze + cameras = disappearing clothing. It’s infallible logic; you know this because even though Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis is a despicable douche bag, perky coeds still trip over themselves just to bare their boobies for his cameras. Ah, his icy reach extends far, even from prison.

With Spring Break still rocking strong, it’s time you put the wisdom gleaned from these infomercials to good use. But where to start the debauchery? How about Howl at the Moon’s Spring Break Happy Hour (17 S. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). Beginning at 6 p.m., the dueling piano bar will greet all comers with $4 Bacardi drinks, $2 Coronas, and 2-4-1 Kettle Ones, plus a load of other specials and a Spring Break-style piano bash. And because they’re not sadists, Howl at the Moon’s gracious hosts will throw down a free buffet – that way you can temper the booze sloshing around in your gut like a sorority girl during pledge week. The specials last till 8 p.m., just enough time to work yourself into a collegiate stupor. Plus, if your Spring Break adventures end up the usual way (fully clothed, nauseous, and sexually frustrated), you can get home in time for more late night commercials depicting all the fun you should be having. Call 954-598-0202.
Fridays, 6 p.m., 2008