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National Features >
SF Weekly
Former pros from Latin America help make an "amateur" soccer team unstoppable.
By Lauren Smiley
Houston Press
A growing number of educators face a hard truth: not every kid is college material.
By Todd Spivak
Miami New Times
A Florida man sues his girlfriend-for dumping him.
By Isaiah Thompson
Once upon a time, some really ugly person somewhere said, Its not whats outside, but whats inside that counts. Seriously? Look, we wouldnt lie to you, faithful reader. Take a peek around the pages of
New Times youll see ads for botox treatment, breast augmentation surgery, lipo dissolve, hormone replacement therapy, laser hair removal, and natural skin therapies. Why would we announce the services of these fine companies in our newspaper if we didnt want you to be more beautiful? No one cares how you look inside, except the doctors who are going to be modifying your guts so you look better to us. Then, once youre hella beautiful, you can come to our offices and thank us deeply in person.
But there are people who would dissuade you from your noble goal of perfection. We call those people artists, and they always have some pesky agenda they want to push. Take the new play
Makeover, at the Hollywood Playhouse (2640 Washington St., Hollywood) through June 1. Its the story of Valerie, a girl whos sold her troubled soul to the Devil for the purpose of achieving unattainable beauty. Valerie gets all bent when she realizes she has given up her intangible treasures in the pursuit of a pert body; apparently so you, the viewer, can learn a life lesson about real beauty and surfaces and happiness or something. Who knows why youd buy that hooey, but if you do, you can check out the play tonight 8 p.m. Tickets will run you $35, but remember hair removal starts at just $190. You decide. Call 954-922-0404, or visit www.hollywoodplayhouse.com.
Thursdays-Sundays. Starts: May 9. Continues through June 1, 2008