Walla Walla Bing Bang

I told the witch doc-tor, scare me up a barstool at Pangaea

"Dental school?" I couldn't help but be incredulous. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"We love this place; we come here a lot," he said, taking a swig from his gin and tonic.

He pushed the shoulder of a short guy standing near us. "You're a third year, right?"

Ancore was tiny, with smooth, attractive features and a high voice. "Soon to be fourth!" They cheered and toasted.

"What kind of dental work will you be doing?" I asked Ancore.

"I'm doing it already," he corrected. "And, all kinds. Everything from scraping to filling cavities."

"Sooo... you guys must be... pretty smart."

"Nah, we're not smart," M.J. said, smiling to reveal rows of straight, very white teeth, "but dental school isn't easy."

"Smarter than most of the people here, I'd guess," I said. "I certainly can't fill a cavity."

Ancore considered this. "I'd say we're a little bit smart."

The real reason people come: After I extracted myself from the large group of party people smarter than me, I leaned against a wall and was soon approached by a petite woman named Tatiana. She wore jeans and had curly, ash-blond hair.

"You having fun?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I come here all the time," she said, taking a drag on her cigarette. "It's dark and full of people who don't give a fuck. Good place to lose a boyfriend."

"Do you do that often?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "My boyfriend's here right now, and he's crazy jealous."

"Why's he so jealous?"

"Who knows?" she exhaled. "I just come here to ditch him and sneak off with someone else."

"Maybe he's jealous because you ditch him so much," I said. "Won't he be mad?"

"Yeah, but maybe he'd be turned on if he found us making out," she said, leaning directly into my bubble of personal space.

No, I didn't make out with Tatiana. But even if Pangaea is full of creepy animal skulls and expensive drinks, it is a good place to ditch your beau, meet some cool people, and maybe even have an OK time. Plus, even if the porn stars don't show, there are enough grinding girls with T and A on display that you might even forget about all those animal skulls.

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