Drink Coffee, not Elephant Urine

Whenever Bear Grylls escapes peril in Discovery Channel’s Man vs. Wild, you can’t help but wonder what it’s like being his son. On the up side, the boy probably has the coolest tree fort ever, crafted entirely out of vines from a Panama jungle and then decorated with rodent skulls. On the down side, lunch time must be a drag; while the other kids peel back their sanitary Lunchables and pudding tubs, he stares sadly at his cockroach wing and lizard belly chutney. Nobody offers to trade.

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• Bear Grylls
• Man vs. Wild
• Oscar Mayer Lunchables

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The fact that Bear Grylls exists in the real world is almost a downer. You want to believe that his badassery is so intense that he could never have a mortgage payment — instead, wiling his years away, roaming with aboriginal tribes, drinking fermented snake venom, and sleeping buried in soil like a human hibachi. Pretend just that tonight when Undergrounds Coffeehaus (2743 E. Oakland Park Blvd., Fort Lauderdale) gathers its dedicated, caffeinated masses tonight for a Man Vs. Wild marathon. Cheer as Bear tries fishing with termites as bait. Do espresso shots when he filters elephant dung for drinking water. Place bets on what insect species make the best eatin’ this evening; episodes start at 7 p.m. Call 954-630-1900.
Tue., Sept. 16, 7 p.m., 2008