The Real Girlfriend Experience

My hooker romance

"I keep thinking I'm going to break one of these things," she says as she examines the nails on her right hand. She gets them done every two weeks, for $60. It's only been a week since her last visit, so she has to be extracautious.

I ask her to tell me about herself. "Well, I'm a Sagittarius, and I like long walks on the beach," she says, imitating the tone of a dating-game contestant. She says she doesn't really get out much.

Neither of us has 30 pins by the fifth frame. So we have at least one thing in common: We both suck at bowling.

Her favorite thing in the world to do, she says, is to make homemade, hand-rolled sushi. For the first time, she's talking directly to me.

"Sushi? Really?"

"My grandmother came here from Hiroshima," she says. They never spent a lot of time together, but every so often, her grandmother would teach young Sophia the craft of the tuna roll. She tilts her head slightly as she imagines herself cutting and arranging raw fish.

At the end of the first game, she has 40 and I have 67.

Things can only get better from here.


This wasn't entirely my brilliant idea. I'd seen a photo-essay book titled I Date a Hooker in which a New Jersey man named Jeff Fischer took a bunch of prostitutes on sort-of regular dates. Then he snapped photos, including copious depictions of himself making out with them, which, frankly, is just as gross as it sounds. I wanted to talk to Fischer about his raunchy project, so I asked his publisher, Blue Q Books, if I could set up an interview with the author.

"The guy who actually dated the prostitutes?" asks a Blue Q rep. "I wouldn't even know where to begin tracking him down."

So I was on my own.

I had uneasy feelings about offering any kind of remuneration for our encounters, so after seeing Sophia, I resolved not to pay any more hookers just to date me. I was going to call and ask the women politely if they would join me for ice cream or to go to the aquarium.

The first place I turned, naturally, was to the back pages of this very publication. I started dialing numbers from ads with photos of women who, for whatever reason at the time, I felt might be more likely to indulge their intellectual inquisitiveness — or at least humor me. I called girls with ads that said: "New to town! Show me around!" "Because I'm worth it!" "Just broke up with my boyfriend!"

I got turned down. Cold. Every time. "Hi. I'm a reporter working on a story about dating local escorts. There wouldn't be anything sexual, just a game or two of miniature golf. And I'll pay for this date, of course, but I really don't have any money to give you for — hello? Hello?"

After two days of ego-smashing rejections from prostitutes up and down the tricounty area, I decided to ditch the idea of enticing hookers to date me for free. My new pitch: "I've got $100, and I want to play miniature golf with an escort."

Most women still weren't interested. "I prefer something a little more intimate," one told me.

Finally, I found Britney. Her ad said: "MIDWESTERN BRITNEY/Need to pay off student loans. $275/hr." The photo was of a surfer-blond woman with smooth, golden skin.

Over the phone, we agreed to meet at Boomer's in Dania Beach for an afternoon date and a winsome round of minigolf. When I arrive, Britney is removing wads of fast-food wrappers from the back seat of her Camry. She's tall and blond but rougher than her photo. She's wearing a blue Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt, a white linen skirt, and Ed Hardy flip-flops on her exceptionally large feet. She never takes the Louis Vuitton bag off her shoulder or the Chanel sunglasses off her head.

I find myself wondering what kind of guy would pay almost $300 for an hour with this woman. Then I feel guilty.

We get our putters and balls — she picks a purple ball; I pick orange — and make our way out to the course. I stop for a scorecard and a pencil. "Nah, we don't need to keep score," she says. "Let's just play. Didn't you want to ask me some questions or something? And I'm going to need my donation up front."

I hand over the $80 I have left after paying for two rounds of golf.

My first question: Why didn't any of the girls I called want to take an afternoon off and go play miniature golf?

"Escorts don't do anything for free," she explains as we line up our balls at the beginning of the first hole. "Who's to say you aren't some guy just like all the other weirdos out there but your role-play fantasy is to play a reporter doing an interview?"

Hmmm. That's someone's fantasy?

Nobody wants to get ripped off and give anyone anything for free when she could be getting something, she says. "Time is money in this business."

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108 comments
amirkhatri49
amirkhatri49

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rana7071
rana7071

orlando roof leak repair

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Marco
Marco

Vesky and Groovychick you are special. Hold onto that! Sex-date with no sex is freaky. Checked out theamsterdamdiaries. Man, gigolo, or what?

Veskey Kosko
Veskey Kosko

I am a cam girl and I am extremely professional.  I work from the safety of my bedroom and honestly I tried to find a job when I lost everything, I couldn't do it in enough time to pay my bills and Unemployment is a joke!.. Sorry everyone but this is my career along with many more like me

Groovychicksoph
Groovychicksoph

I work in a country where brothels are legal. I had other options but I simply wanted more money. The vast majority of us are not victims, we just like money and have no qualms with the concept of having sex in exchange for money. In fact the only prostitutes I would consider victims are the street walkers at the mercy of pimps and addiction, which is illegal here. I work in a legal brothel where safety regulations are strict and the environment professional. For every bad client I have at least 10 good clients, from all walks of life. A month into my job and I've already organised a 6 month overseas holiday for next year. It's a shame these girls are working in a country where prostitution is illegal, which means their safety cannot be guaranteed (like Sophia for example). I'm not sure what I'm trying to prove with this comment, just providing a little insight. I will say this, the only time I feel truly degraded in my profession is when I am labelled a victim, like I'm too dumb to know any better. By the way, if you wanted to go on a date with me you would be charged at least $500 an hour for a minimum of two hours, I didn't set that price, my brothel/agency did. In fact I thought you proposing a free date to these girls was quite audacious. Great article.

PrayingForBetterLifeAhead
PrayingForBetterLifeAhead

Read your column briefly, but had  question.  What happens when a girl who has lost EVERYTHING.  She has lost her job;  And day by day, she is trying tenaciously to find a job (calling recruiters).  It gets worse each and every day.  Every day is more and more sescouraging.  Then you find that your life savings if depleated from 74,000 to 13,000 in one week.  Everything you have saved for.  Every thing you saved for every day to  - is gone. 

And the unemployment check is not enough to cover even your rent.  Meanwhile, you had to wait 3 months after your layoff to even get the first check to you because of a glitch in the system.

What do you do?  Hell, I'd prostitute myself.  You're damn right on that one!

London escorts
London escorts

Really interesting. I have read  your whole article two times. I like the most your ends.. Today's, we can seen that most of the couples are gone for freaky bed on their first date.Cheap Escorts

Writer2011
Writer2011

Look, girlfiend experience was an accident of typing, but there is an article called Meet Captain Howdy - so maybe it was not so far off the mark. Look, I've read some reviews of The Real Girlfriend )but not the article) .... and one of the responses is that we want to know what actually happens. Bluntly, it is infinitely variable. Sometimes it is very, very good and sometimes it is Captain Howdy .... read it at:theamsterdamdiaries.weebly.com

John
John

Interesting, I guess. Try theamsterdamdiaries.weeblycom to avoid disappointment. This is the REAL girlfiend experience to the finish.

mike
mike

Fantastic piece!! its rare that a piece of journalism evokes deep reflection and real emotions in the reader through pure humanistic portrayals

R SHABEER AHMED
R SHABEER AHMED

REQUESTING LETTER FOR JOB IN THE NAME OF GOD

RESPECTED SIR/MADAM

RESUME

NAME : R SHABEER AHMEDFATHER,S NAME:RAFIQ AHMED RMOTHER,S NAME:MUBEEN TAJQUALIFICATION :B.COMTECHNICAL QUALIFICATION: PG DIPLOMA IN COMPUTER,S APPLICATIONS AN DAA DIPLOMA IN ADVANCE ACCOUNTANCYADDRESS :#122/2 1ST MAIN ROAD 4TH CROSS 2ND FLOOR FARDA BANU BUILDING J.J.R.NAGAR RANAGANATHA COLONY MYSORE ROAD BANGALORE-560018MARITAL STATUS :UN-MARRIEDPASSPORT NUMBER:H6598286EXPERIENCE :FRESHERSNATIONALITY :INDIANSEX :MALECONTACT NUMBER:9986494711DATE OF BIRTH:25/05/1984REALIONAL :MUSLIMAGE :24 YEARS OLDHOBBIES :WATCHING WWE ON TEN SPORTS AN SWIMMINGLANGUAGES KNOWN:URDU,HINDI,ENGLISH

DATE: PLACE:FROM INDIA,FROM KARNATAKA STATE,FROM BANGALORE CTIY,FROM MYSORE ROAD (R SHABEER AHMED)

HELLO SIR/MADAM MY NAME IS R SHABEER AHMED AN I AM 24 YEARS OLD AN I HAVE PASS B.COM IN THE YEAR 2007 AN I HAVE DONE P G DIPLOMA IN COMPUTERS APPLICATIONS IN THE YEAR 2006 AN I HAVE DONE D.A.A DIPLOMA IN ADVANCE ACCUNTACNY AN NOW I AM LOOKING FOR JOB IN AMERICA,LONDON,R IN UK,SO PLEASE CALL ME WITH IN 2 R 3 DAYS BY SEANDING VISA,TICKET,IN THE NAME OF R SHABEER AHMED TO THIS ADDRESS #122/2 1ST MAIN ROAD 4TH CROSS 2ND FLOOR FARDA BANU BUILDING J.J.R.NAGAR RANAGANATHA COLONY MYSORE ROAD BANGALORE-560018 SO PLEASE SIR/MADAM KINDLY CALL ME AN MY E-MAIL IS NOT WORKING SO PLEASE KINDLY SEAND UR ANSWERS BY POST R BY CARGO PLEASE SIR/MADAM KINDLY CALL ME

THANKING U UR FAITHFULLY (R SHABEER AHMED)

Sonny Wyatt
Sonny Wyatt

Great piece! And for those who don't "Get it", you must be new here, this is real journalism, writing for teh sake of informing teh reader about the characters who surround the reader everyday, in every town. Mooney took these girls on dates, and gave us an idea of what it would be like to "visit" an escort. He went further by detailing his "dates" with several, he gave us insight into who they say they are, what they say about their dreams, their motivations to do their jobs, and more. This is not fluff and it is not world affairs, or national news but it is an article about people who perform the oldest profession. I'd not have had teh experience of hearing from these women had Mooney not enlightened me to it. For that, Michael, I thank you sir. Good work.

dundee
dundee

They are also human too.....just like us.....they can be a friend or enemy just also like us.....they can be a wise and holy but also a crime like us too.....they have time of birth and death like people around the globe...just like us.....Indeed we can not eradicate the prostitution, for it is like eradicating humankind coz they are everywhere.......but above all things I 'll see them as my neighborhood, trying to do samething to the lazzaroni around me.....Congratulations for giving them a chance to be a friend.....God is watching us.....conveying wishes from Indonesia....

Life's Short
Life's Short

Interesting that half the comments here bash this article for not being insightful or have a deeper meaning, but why not just enjoy the article for what it is- a fascinating insight on hookers lives beyond the general perception. This was a unique and entertaining read, very well written.

Nick
Nick

Great read! Well written. It is not often you get journalism like. You see, to all you bashers in here, this is what people with actual intellect call 'Creative Journalism'.

Well done and well put!

Luke
Luke

I enjoyed the article. It doesn't have to have a point. It's a story. If anything, it humanizes the women. Certainly nothing wrong with that.

Katie Dunn
Katie Dunn

This is one of the most interesting things Ive ever read. Ive read it twice now. It just leaves you with so many different emotions. I LOVE the ending too! Great job!

Katie Dunn
Katie Dunn

This is one of the most interesting things Ive ever read. Ive read it twice now. It just leaves you with so many different emotions. I LOVE the ending too! Great job!

David
David

That was a great article. Don't listen to the haters, they apparently were entertained enough to read all 6 pages. Ha!

Bob
Bob

I'm going straight on Craigslist. See if I can find one of these broads who look nothing like their picture.Catch some disease. ...and write a story about it all with no real ending.That was lame. Slightly entertaining, but never made any real points or observations that we couldn't imagine before reading it.

Dean Esmay
Dean Esmay

Great article. Ending a little weak, but great otherwise. A look into the real people living this life is all the story is, and that's all it should be.

What is life like as a paid escort? Now you know.

britney
britney

im in this article i found it very funny everyones responses lol

a
a

This is the best fucking thing I've read in a long time. What the hell are people complaining about? You want someone to tell you how to feel at the end? Why is this not the most read story on this site?

Arthur A. Escobar
Arthur A. Escobar

i ready memender when i met this lady b.............. i love her de dope

Hondu
Hondu

I dated a hooker once. All I got was a rash.

Steve
Steve

God this is an incredible story. If New Times actually did artistic things like this more often I would probably be inclined to come to the site a hell of a lot more.

master
master

This guy is a giant douche.

James Hinds
James Hinds

They may be hookers -- selling false intimacy for dollars. Some might say selling something that is beyond price.

But still, they evoke a strong sense of compassion in me: seeing through a hardened exterior to that real human that is stuck in her role.

I think it is a little like the young girl falling for 'the bad boy' and saying: "My parents just don't see him the way I do"

Marcelo
Marcelo

Hookers suck. No pun intended.

dibusek
dibusek

I should say that this is impressive. mostly we have seen certain people in classes, high versus low ones and start to make some prejudice. reading this I think I got the point, even a prostitute is a human, really has real heart, remembers some nostalgia in life, wants to be acknowledged as a person, not as a toy.

I just wish someone could redeem her out of such kind of job and to give her a proper life where she could become herself, not living the gloomy prostitute life any longer. I guess she (and other ones) might have such hope deep inside her heart, but she (and those ones) just couldn't speak it out.

Frank
Frank

If you told me this morning that I would read a story about a guy who dates prostitutes and I'd actually email it to all of my friends with the subject: GENIUS WRITING I never would have believed you. Who is this guy and why haven't I heard of him before? It sounds stupid, but these are the kinds of stories that change the world and how people look at other people. Congrats!

tunana
tunana

What a bad ending.

Actually end it right so I can feel better about reading 6 pages that lead nowhere, please.

KT
KT

I really liked this article. The author writes well. Keep up the interesting stories.

hanis21
hanis21

dont you guys get it ?its all about the fact that even though they are still prostitutes they too are still human - they to have ambitions. the difference between them and everyone else is either they have been in some sort of situation or forced in a corner and they only do this to help them get out of the situation - all of them have some goals in their lives. if you read carefully none of them 'do this for fun'.its a good article- i would like to see what you do next.

Larz Blackman
Larz Blackman

Most enjoyable read I've had in a long time. But now I'll wonder if every woman is a hooker.

Bill
Bill

This was almost like reading a book by Salinger. A little flavor, but no bullshit. Excellent story, well written, and not fabricated.

Excellent.

Marcus
Marcus

Dude, this was a great read! It really makes me wanna date prostitutes though :p You should do this every month or so, really quite entertaining.

Zach
Zach

An introspective look at a world that few people will ever get to see.

I can't say i was surprised much by the lives of these prostitutes but such a candid look at them without all the manufactured drama of a major 24 hours news network was very refreshing.

I think the author took just the right approach to the story and I really enjoyed reading it.

Tina
Tina

Well good thing about this is people get to see other facet of prostitute. I have gone on similar date with people and all they want is to be with you and hug you. No sex. It means so much to us.

Tina

http://www.ekhichdi.com/actors...

Alex
Alex

good article. i have to admit i skimmed through parts. ive always wanted to know if the escorts look like the pictures? do they? there is some hot ones in the back of those mags. i would like to see pics.

dr. helms
dr. helms

as stated in the beginning this really is a sociological experiment on hookers! who are those people willing to do anything for money? how did they get into this position? i really enjoyed reading this article ... colorful like the stuffed animals in these machines!

Lu
Lu

This journalism at its best form. Not some mass media bs from cnn and time.

john
john

I think of two things when I read this wonderfully written article.

1. As a man who has slept with many prostitutes, I think that next time, I will simply take them out on dates, like this author. The best part of seeing a prostitute is the female companionship.

2. I cannot believe that American girls are driven to prostitution simply to pay for education - a privellige that billions of people around the world enjoy without having to f*ck strangers. America is SICK.

 
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