Aim for the Head

Throughout South Florida calf muscles quiver. These naked lower legs are just one casualty of the impending WAKA Kickball season. As adults clamor to reclaim their favorite recess sport, local merchants face a tragic shortage of tube socks, Dixie cups (for Jell-O shots), and ironic sweatbands of every hue. FEMA has yet to respond with an emergency rescue plan.

The phenomenon, though not new to the region, has grown to astronomical numbers as swarms of giddy cubicle workers flock to the fields, seeking new, drunken friendships and escape from the daily grind through the rambunctious, participatory sport. Kickball fever has spread so rapidly that 14 different leagues now exist throughout Miami, Broward, and Palm Beach counties, each staking claim on various parks nearly every night of the week. Odds are, you’re sitting next to a World Adult Kickball Association member now and don’t even know it. WAKA players can be identified through a few simple methods: A.) the subject is found hoarding flocked iron-ons in his desk. B.) The subject gets a devilish look in his eye whenever a large red ball is rolled past his desk. C.) The subject suffers from a high F.C. (Fun Capacity).

Support a friend with a kickball addiction by joining the legion. Visit kickball.com to enroll for winter, with leagues starting throughout February and March. The Bedrock Division plays at Mills Pond Park (2201 NW 9th Ave., Fort Lauderdale); the Fuego Division at Jose Marti Park (351 SW 4th St., Miami). Enrollment costs $68 and includes a tee-shirt.
Feb. 3-April 30, 2009