Meat Market Minuet

It’s hard to believe, but there used to be actual tea served at tea dances. Well-appointed ladies and gents would gather on Sundays after church and do wholesome little dances like the minuet or the gavotte, drinking Earl Grey and chattering into the evening. But then the gays came along — those decadent Fire Island gays — who had no particular desire to keep their Sundays wholesome, and who were more likely stumbling in from the dunes than arriving from worship. Their faces were flushed with far more potent sacraments than the ones condoned by the Papacy, and they had no discernible interest in caffeinated beverages. It is this latter kind of tea party (called a T Party) that is being proffered by the newly resuscitated Sea Monster — an old and deeply decadent club, widely reputed to be a better version of The Coliseum (the Sea Monster had volleyball nets!). The Monster has lain dormant for years, but recently reopened two months ago. Their Sunday night T Dance promises booty-shaking DJs, half-priced drinks from 4 to 8 p.m., and no cover before 8 ($5 thereafter).

The Sea Monster is at 2 S. New River Dr. in Fort Lauderdale. Call 954-767-6200 for more info.
Sundays, 8 p.m. Starts: Feb. 1. Continues through Aug. 2, 2009