For years, people have found that their sorrows are best drowned in a mixture that is one part liquor, one part twangy, sappy country music. Although that game plan has never let anyone down ever let me submit another suitable substrate in which to drown woes: chili. Think about it, folks. Chili is thicker, which would expedite the whole asphyxiation process. It is spicier, and artificial breakthroughs via pepper-induced bouts of tears probably do have a placebo effect. And chili is undeniably meatier, and meat never dun nobody no wrong, dun it?
For all these reasons, you should consider the 24th Annual Kiss Country Chili Cook-Off supreme absolution in liquid... er, stew form. There will be country music tunes about broken hearts and bar fights from the likes of Alan Jackson, Justin Moore, Jason Aldean, Little Big Town, and a sweet gal from Texas by the name of Jessica Simpson. There will be liquor enough beer to intoxicate 10,000-plus folks, anyhow. And there will be chili bubbling vats of con carne and verde that will take your mind off anything it may yet be adwellin on. The best bowl will even be good enough to enter into the 2009 World Chili Cook-Off. Yee ha.