The Rock of the Aged

Jesus, they’re still here. How? In the last dozen years, the salty boys of Aerosmith have endured a string of mishaps so consistent and awful that any more perceptive band would have long ago decided that some wrathful cosmic force was telling them to retire. Consider these grim events, in rough reverse chronology: the album they were supposed to be touring to support didn’t get done in time; bassist Tom Hamilton came down with cancer; Steven Tyler fell off the wagon and underwent vocal surgery that briefly cost him some of the lusty yowl that made almost all of Aerosmith’s records so delectable; Just Push Play was, like, the second-worst pop record ever; “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing” was the worst pop record ever; and while recording the extremely cool Nine Lives, the band’s manager went batshit and tried to break up his frontmen’s marriages. Yet here they are, recordless, touring with ZZ Top and by all reports putting on a totally kick ass rock ΄n’ roll show (which, so far, includes the entirety of the group’s 1975 release, Toys In The Attic). Even Rolling Stone digs live Aerosmith, calling the band’s Long Island appearance a “thunderous performance” — which is a bit weird, since that rag couldn’t find enough nasty things to say about Aerosmith in '70s, when they actually, you know, rocked. But times change. Tastes change. Only Steven Tyler is immune, and even he’s starting to look a little crumpled. Catch him while you can when Aerosmith and ZZ Top perform tonight at 7:30 at the Bank Atlantic Center, at 1 Panther Pkwy. in Sunrise. Tix range from $56 to $172, and can be had by calling 954-523-3309 or visiting aeroforceone.com.
Mon., July 13, 7:30 p.m., 2009