By Ashley Zimmerman
By Dana Krangel
By John Hood
By Ashley Zimmerman
By David Von Bader
By Sayre Berman
By Steve Brennan
By Ashley Zimmerman
The Isle of Casino Racing, located in Pompano Park, is like Disney World for degenerate adults, myself included. Seriously, you lose entertainment- and booze-filled hours in a casino and walk out to find it's already dark (or light, whichever the case may be). So when my buddy Beard was having a bitch of a bad day, I told him that I had the perfect remedy: casino time. When he wasn't so sure that gambling and drinking were appropriate ways to deal with bad feelings and general depression, I innocuously told him about the $1-drink happy hour.
We were Pompano-bound in minutes.
Fling: After a small struggle with the woman guarding the entrance to the gambling floor (she didn't seem to believe my I.D. was real), Beard and I traipsed across the Technicolor casino carpet to Fling, Isle Casino's center-stage bar. It had a distinct hotel-bar feel and, despite being in the middle of the casino, was shielded from the commotion by way of expert interior decorating. Sure, we could still hear the whirring and ding-ding-dinging of slot machines, but we also could make out "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac playing softly in the background, not to mention the subdued conversation between one geriatric gambling addict and the next.
The leather furniture was classy, and the carpet (designed to look like giant pond-ripples) was downright distracting. The long, sleek black bar boasted a handful of video poker machines, each carefully positioned directly in front of a barstool. Behind the bar was nothing except a handsome, black-clad bartender and an assload of glistening liquor bottles, all catching the bizarre colors and lights that exist only within the casino habitat.
"So, what's this happy hour consist of?" I asked the bartender.
"One-dollar domestics, drafts, wells, and wines," he said.
We sandwiched between two stooped, gray-haired men who were methodically feeding dollar bills into their respective video poker machines and ordered Bourbon and Cokes. Beard began fumbling in his wallet.
"So, is this cheap drink deal a sign of the economic times?" I asked.
"Not really," the bartender said. "I think they're going to take the deal away some time next year anyway. And there's a bunch of restrictions too."
"Like what?" I arched an eyebrow.
"Well, you can only have two drinks per hour, for starters."
Beard looked up. "That's barely enough to get a buzz!"
"People try to get around it by ordering drinks from girls on the floor and then coming back here," the bartender said.
By now, Beard had shoved $2 into his video poker machine. The little video screen on mine was displaying the words "Play me — just one play could change your life." Yeah, by making me broker.
"This is five-card draw," Beard explained. "Deuces are wild, and I have a two — see? So I'm going to hold these two eights."
The screen flashed. "Four of a kind!" Beard said, jabbing a finger at the screen. "I won a dollar! Suckers!"
About 45 seconds later, the machine had taken many of Beard's dollars and I was about ready to check out the next bar. As we stood, a large man in an orange Hawaiian shirt stopped us.
"Are you going to play bingo tonight?" he asked hopefully.
"No," I said. "We're planning on going up to the track bar."
"Oh," he said. "There's harness racing going on right now; you'll like that."
"Will I?" I blanched slightly. I'm not big on the racing industry. This might be because I live with a retired racing greyhound.
"Um... you might," he said. "It's when the horses sit in carts and people pull them. The horses whip the people if they don't go fast enough."
"Wow!" I said.
"That's not what that is," Beard admonished. "Don't get her hopes up. We'll probably pop in the steak house first."
"Oh," said Hawaiian Shirt. "Yeah, that's a good place — it's a little, um, classier, though..." He trailed off and glanced conspicuously at Beard's untrimmed facial hair and mop of curly hair smashed beneath a Yankees cap.
"Noted," I said, grabbing Beard's arm.
We bade farewell to the bartender, who was giving dating advice to an 80-year-old man.
Farraddays' Steakhouse: We walked to the escalator, past the "Wow" fountain — a sculpted monolith consisting of water and light pouring over stanchions of stacked, twisting glass — and up the escalator, arriving at the closed glass doors of Farraddays'.
"I'm not going in there," announced Beard. We glanced in at the classy bar inside Farraddays' and quickly discovered that we were painfully underdressed. The lounge area was classy, with orange, cylindrical lights hanging over the bar, plenty of liquor bottles stacked behind the bar, and plush armchairs just waiting to be lounged in.
"Are you debating eating there?" asked a dark-haired woman with a Northern accent. "Because the early bird is a great deal."
"What's the early bird?" I asked.
"You get three courses for $25," she said. "Usually each entrée can be that much by itself. I went for my birthday, and my husband and I went for our anniversary."
Beard visibly salivated in response.