Some time back, a dedicated sports nerd (simultaneously the coolest and least-useful variety of nerd) determined that in a typical Major League Baseball game, the ball is actually in play for only two to three minutes. So even in the best of baseball times and the past couple of years for the Florida Marlins must qualify as at least passable theres enough downtime for fans attention to wander. Enter the eye candy known as the Marlins Mermaids, a squad of midriff-baring, short-shorted dancers who enjoy high-kicking on the tops of dugouts and grabbing their hair for calendar shoots. Their open tryouts are going to be held the same day as those of the Marlins other spirit squad, the all-male Marlins Manatees, a clowning band of mostly middle-aged, mostly overweight, in some cases frightfully obese shakers of moneymakers. If you want to join in either squad or simply watch the pratfalls as Manatee wannabes try to talk aspirant cheerleaders out of their digits, hit the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino (5711 Seminole Way) on Sunday morning: Manatees must register by 8 a.m. for a 9 a.m. tryout; Mermaids should bring headshots and dance attire and arrive by 11 a.m. for a noon tryout. Mere spectators are welcome. Visit marlins.com, or call Luis Dones at 305-626-7227.
Sun., Jan. 17, 8 a.m., 2010