Boozers Versus Beasts

As a rule, it’s a really bad idea to get drunk at the zoo. Consuming mass amounts of alcohol while surrounded by wild, vicious beasts could easily lead to any number of embarrassing and/or deadly mishaps. You might mistake a gorilla for your girlfriend. You might fall into the lion’s den. You might even get gangbanged by a gaggle of goitered gazelles.

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In the case of Brew at the Zoo, however, every precaution has been taken to make sure that all intoxicated assholes will be kept several hundred yards from the animals. So feel free to drink beyond the point of reason starting at 5 p.m. Saturday at the Miami Metrozoo (12400 SW 152nd St., Miami). There will be beer samples from Magic Hat, the Titanic Brewing Co., Narragansett, and tons more — not to mention live music by the Dan Band, Juke, and King Bee. Regular tickets cost $25 presale or $35 at the door. VIP passes cost $65. Call 305-571-7525, or visit miaminewtimes.com.
Sat., May 1, 5 p.m., 2010