Scandal's Saloon
3073 NE Sixth Ave., Wilton Manors, 954-567-2432, scandalsfla.com
Michael McElroy
O'Brien's may be Irish, but it's known for Pabst tallboys.
Michael McElroy
At Mai-Kai, they put the drinks on a pedestal. And in a barrel.
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Do you have friends in low places — where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases your blues away? Even if you're not big on social graces, no one will mind if you slip on down to this oasis: Scandal's Saloon, nestled deep in the heart of Wilton Manors. Scandal's boasts an ass-kicking happy hour from noon to 9 p.m. Monday through Saturday and all day Sunday (domestic and wells go for $2.50 a pop, premiums are $4, and that top-shelf stuff cuddles up to your liver for just $4.50 each) that will satisfy even the thirstiest cowboy. Mingle with the friendly cowpokes and buy the sexy-ass bartenders a round! With "happy hour" dragging out from high noon to 9 p.m., you can kick up your heels to Garth Brooks on the expansive dance floor — under that beautiful boot-shaped disco ball — until you pass out. Bonus: After 9 p.m., drink prices hike up a lil' bit, but they still run cheap enough to keep the liquor flowin' freely. Tara Nieuwesteeg
The Manor Restaurant & Lounge
2345 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, 954-626-0082, themanorcomplex.com
The Manor, a six-room megaclub complex in the heart of Wilton Manors' gay party district, kicks off its Tuesday-through-Friday parties right with four hours of two-for-one "you call it" drink specials accompanied by a $5 tapas menu. At these prices, cheese-stuffed chilies wrapped in bacon, Jack Daniel's BBQ chicken flatbread, calamari fritti, and Angus sliders with cheddar and bacon go down easy with two Grey Goose dirty martinis for the price of one. The party starts at 3:30 p.m. and runs through 7:30. Courtney Hambright
New Moon Bar
2440 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, 954-563-7660, newmoonbar.com
Nightly activities such as karaoke, live music, and DJ dance parties keep the New Moon gay and lesbian bar in Wilton Manors perpetually packed. But 40 hours of premium two-for-one specials per week don't hurt either. Shots and premium wines are excluded, but ounce for ounce, the indoor/outdoor bar's drink specials are pretty hard to top. Happy hour runs from 2 to 7 p.m. Monday through Thursday (well, all day Wednesday), noon to 9 p.m. Friday, and noon to 6 p.m. Saturday. Plus, on Monday, New Moon sweetens the deal with $5 Stoli martinis all night long. Courtney Hambright
Kalahari Bar
4446 NE 20th Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-351-9371, kalaharibar.com
The Kalahari may be a desert in southern Africa, but here in Fort Lauderdale, it's a watering hole that nurtures the vibes of the mother continent for us locals and South African expats. Scan the room and you'll see that you're mingling among South African knickknacks including zebra skins. Happy hour runs Monday through Friday from 4 to 7 p.m. Specials include $2 domestics. On Sunday, enjoy two-for-one Van Gogh Vodka drinks and free pool. If you can't bring yourself to grab a Budweiser or Van Gogh cocktail to watch that rugby game and you want something that captures the spirit of the place, we suggest throwing back some Castle Lagers. Erica K. Landau
Mai-Kai
3599 N. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale, 954-563-3272, maikai.com
Since it opened in 1956, the Mai-Kai's tropical environment has transported tourists and attracted a large following of loyal tikiphiles. From its exotic garden to its fiery nightly dinner show, tendrils of authentic Polynesian culture touch every facet of the Polynesian-inspired complex. Locals know to come only for the drinks, and the best time for that is the daily happy hour at the Molokai Bar. There are half-priced drinks — including the "barrel o' rum" and "piña passion" (served in a pineapple) — and appetizers from 5 to 7 p.m. On Wednesday, there's a free buffet with sushi, sliced pork, and chicken (but did we mention locals come just for the drinks?). Live surf rock, rockabilly, and Polynesian bands play on Friday nights. Courtney Hambright
America's Backyard
100 SW Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-727-0950, myamericasbackyard.com
Fort Lauderdale's cookout-themed outdoor nightclub knows how to strike a chord with the masses. America's Backyard ensures that anyone who might be doing something other than downing its two-for-one "u call it" happy-hour specials — like getting a manicure or hanging out at home with the dog — has no excuse not to be there. The happy hours are from 5 to 9 p.m. Wednesday through Friday. Wednesday "Girl Power Happy Hour" offers pampering for ladies, such as free mini-manicures and facials. On Thursday, the dog-friendly "yappy hour" allows pet owners to get cranked without neglecting their four-legged friends. Courtney Hambright
Wreck Bar
1140 Seabreeze Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-524-5551
There may be cheaper places in town to get wrecked, but you can bet your ass those places don't boast a pod of gorgeous, real-live mermaids who flaunt their assets freely as they swim by the portholes behind the bar. This classic haunt's underwater pool view and dark Florida-kitsch charm became famous in the movies Where the Boys Are and Robert DeNiro's Analyze This. At this joint, your Friday-night happy-hour special comes in the immaculate form of Marina the mermaid, eye candy at its finest. Swill down mojitos and drool longingly as she weaves through the water with utter grace, her enormous gold-red fishtail and curtain of dark hair floating in tow. Wreck Bar's been around forever, but you still can't beat the stiff drinks or Marina's spectacular, buoyant mermaid cans. Tara Nieuwesteeg
