You have to hand it to South Florida. This past year has been a doozy. From Ponzi schemers to Charlie Crist's party-changing politics to oil spills the size of Texas headed for our shores, we all deserve a gripe or two. But we'll survive another year in paradise, and that's something to celebrate.

So with our readers' survival and happiness in mind, we decided to go beyond being their eyes and ears for all things newsworthy and artsy and take on the responsibility of protecting their livers.

We searched high and low for happy hours at the seediest of strip-mall bars to the swanky cocktail types. We drank, and drank, and drank, and the threat of cirrhosis loomed, but the results were worth the seemingly endless hangover. Below is a guide to the 50 best spots to waste your liver, at least as best as we can remember. Erica K. Landau

O'Brien's may be Irish, but it's known for Pabst tallboys.
Michael McElroy
O'Brien's may be Irish, but it's known for Pabst tallboys.
At Mai-Kai, they put the drinks on a pedestal. And in a barrel.
Michael McElroy
At Mai-Kai, they put the drinks on a pedestal. And in a barrel.
Michael McElroy
Taco Tuesday packs T-Mex, top.
Michael McElroy
Taco Tuesday packs T-Mex, top.
Tarpon Bend's happy hour is the best kind: It starts early and runs late.
Michael McElroy
Tarpon Bend's happy hour is the best kind: It starts early and runs late.
Michael McElroy
The big "cocktails" sign helps guide you at Max's.
Michael McElroy
The big "cocktails" sign helps guide you at Max's.

O'Shea's Irish Pub

531 Clematis St., West Palm Beach, 561-833-3865, osheaspub.com

If the east end of Clematis is a bit too, you know, creatively suffocating for you, then the west end of Clematis is the cure. Down west past the tracks, O'Shea's has been going strong for 16 years with no signs of slowing down. You'll know you're in the right place when you see a bunch of smiling people sitting around wooden tables on the sidewalk beneath the Irish flag at the door. Neither dive nor palace, this place is just a good old-fashioned pub. Folks there love the Guinness, love the bangers and mash, and love that happy hour runs from 11 a.m. all the way through 6 p.m. Monday through Friday. The deal is simple: $3.50 pints, and free barbecue on Friday. Stroll through the front door in shorts and flip-flops or a little black dress and heels and you'll fit right in. Maggie Dove

Grease Burger Bar

213 Clematis St., West Palm Beach, 561-651-1075, greasewpb.com

There are quite a few bars on the east end of Clematis, and they're pretty much interchangeable with their selection of either Bud or Heineken. Grease, on the other hand, has more than 75 beers on the menu, and they're all two-for-one at happy hour. It's easy to give a couple of Buds away for that price, but you enter an entirely different realm when you get handed two bottles of Delirium Tremens or Chimay for the price of one. The place is huge, and the bar is so long that they have to keep a gaggle of bartenders behind it at all times. That means you can sit down, and before you can even leave an impression with your ass on the barstool, someone who is knowledgeable about all those beers will ask you what you want to drink. You can even keep it local, since Grease is one of the few bars in the area that serves beers from Cigar City Brewing out of Tampa and Inlet Brewing Co. out of Jupiter. Doesn't Anheuser-Busch have enough money already? Maggie Dove

Benny's Ice House

9803 S Military Trail, Boynton Beach, 561-734-6924

Let's see. Beall's Outlet, Burlington Coat Factory, Benny's Ice House. OK, so the location makes no sense at all, but that's part of what makes Benny's so great. You would never expect such a great little bar in a discount shopping center. Benny's is well-known as an after-hours bar (open till 5 a.m.), but the happy-hour scene is just as good as the after-hours. It runs from 4 to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday, with discounted domestic drafts, $2.75 pints of PBR, and wells that average about $3. Good people, cheap drinks, and even a few surprises on the menu. You can cool your heels after a long day with Magic Hat on draft and a basket of some of the best wings in town. Then you can walk across the parking lot to Burlington's and buy a really swell coat at a modest price. Maggie Dove

Taste Gastropub

169 NE Second Ave., Delray Beach, 561-274-4444, tastegastropub.com

Taste is doing something no other fancy-pants gastropub is pulling off: It's having fun with it. Sure, there's gourmet happy-hour food like garlic marinated olives and the deliciously deconstructed wild mushroom tostada. There are fresh orchids on the tables and one of those space-age tulip chairs that probably costs more than we make in a week, but there are also Bugs Bunny cartoons projected onto the wall. The place serves tater tots and candy bars. There is an impressive selection of American craft beers, rarely seen imports, and beer cocktails (think bloody mary beer), with cocktails and wine half off during happy hour. You should feel ashamed of yourself for not being there right now. Maggie Dove

Tryst

4 E. Atlantic Ave., Delray Beach, 561-921-0201

Although the place is decorated like a typical, old, dimly lit pub, the menu prices jettison Tryst right up to nouveau gastropub level. Tryst is expensive. Expensive, that is, unless you go to its happy hour, when a good portion of the menu is half off. The prime-beef burger topped with aged cheddar, with a plateful of papas frites and two Belgian ales, will set you back a grand total of 15 bucks. For the record, you can't buy fajitas and a Coke at your local Chili's for $15. The environment inside is a fairly quiet affair, but the humongous outdoor patio is ideal for the single minglers who pack into it most nights. Maggie Dove

Boston's on the Beach

40 S. Ocean Blvd., Delray Beach, 561-278-3364, bostonsonthebeach.com

Boston's has been a Delray Beach hangout since before most of us hipsters were born. A few steps from beach sand, there's a good chance you'll see some girls fresh from the beach still wearing bikini tops and sarongs. The bikini show comes at a price, though. You will hear "Margaritaville," and, worse, everyone there will be really into it. It's the kind of South Florida experience that sells some serious tourist T-shirts. That being said, the bar is usually packed during the 4 to 7 p.m. happy hour Monday through Friday, when bottled domestics and drafts cost $2.75 and house wines are $4.25. Boston's also makes one hell of a truly mind-altering Boston Strangler (Bacardi 151 Rum, Hiram Walker apricot brandy, orange juice, pineapple juice, and grenadine), and when you've had too many, you can simply stumble back to the beach. Hopefully with bikini and sarong. Maggie Dove

The Ugly Mug

5065 W. Atlantic Ave., Delray Beach, 561-498-0634

If you feel really bad about your crappy lot in life, go to the Ugly Mug. You will realize upon entering that your life could be a lot worse. Don't take this wrong; the patrons at the Mug are friendly people who will talk your ear off, but the conversation will probably sound like the lyrics to a Jerry Reed song. "She left and took the truck, the kids, the dog...," you know how the song goes. If you ask the bartender for a Corona, he will call you a beer snob. But if you like a salt-of-the-Earth working-class crowd, cheap beer, and tons of it, the Mug is open from 11 a.m. to 5 a.m., with happy hour from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. That's eight solid hours of half-priced Bud Lights, $2.75 well drinks, and pints for $2 to $2.50. You can use all that money you save to buy yourself a new liver. Maggie Dove

Mellow Mushroom

25 SE Sixth Ave., Delray Beach, 561-330-3040, mellowmushroom.com

The happy hour at Mellow Mushroom runs from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily, with Sam Adams, domestic bottles, drafts, house wine, wells, and Smirnoff available for $3 each. As if that weren't enough, drafts are half off from 7 to 11 p.m. Monday, and bottles are half price from 7 p.m. to closing on Tuesday. The place even has its very own (surprisingly fantastic) signature beer, "The Bogart," for $1.50 per pint during happy hour, which is actually less expensive than a plain old iced tea. Most of the bar area is full of men watching sports, and most of the indoor dining area is full of families with children, so if you hate it when sports and babies harsh your mellow (and who doesn't?), go drink outside on the patio. And if you like a little pizza with your beer, get the Funky Q barbecued chicken pizza. Maggie Dove

Max's Grill

404 Plaza Real, Boca Raton, 561-368-0080, maxsgrille.com

Boca Raton's opulence is in full bloom at this upscale bistro and bar in Mizner Park. During happy hour from 4 to 7 p.m., the curbside tables are the place to see and be seen for power brokers donning three-piece suits and Botoxed cougars jostling for position aside the Bentleys and Lamborghinis pulling up to the valet. Drinks are remarkably well-priced for such a swanky establishment — $2.25 domestics, $2.50 Heinekens, $4 house wines, and $5 house mixed drinks. And the scrumptious mixed tapas — sesame tuna tartare, spicy duck tacos, and truffle Parmesan fries being the most delectable of the lot — are only three for $13. It's a great way to accompany your reasonably priced drink with the upper crust. Alex Rendon

MoQuila Restaurant and Tequila Bar

99 SE Mizner Blvd., Boca Raton, 561-394-9990, moquila.com

When it comes to beautiful, upscale Boca Raton dining, MoQuila takes no prisoners. You'll meet lovable conservatives who spend more on an appetizer than you do on rent, trophy wives with more plastic in their faces than flesh, and elderly tycoons who just want to dine in peace. Well, that's why MoQuila's happy hours — 5 to 7p.m. Sunday 4 to 7 p.m. and Monday through Friday, when the cheap-drink-seeking riffraff saunter in — are all the more fun. MoQuila generously (and dangerously) serves three-for-one drinks and $2 gourmet tacos. With scores of tequilas to choose from and beautiful, knowledgeable bartending babes, you can guzzle down the best margarita you'll ever have in your life, then top it off with two more (for free!). And directly after that, you will attempt to dance on the bar, which will send those WASPish old rich folks running. Tara Nieuwesteeg

O'Brien's Irish Pub

51 SE First Ave., Boca Raton, 561-338-7565

This lively spot one block east of Federal Highway on First Avenue in Boca Raton has filled the unpretentious-Irish-bar void left behind by Daniel O'Connell's (both figuratively and literally, as O'Brien's opened in the exact location of the former, defunct bar.) Every day from 4 to 8 p.m., you'll encounter an equal number of Florida Atlantic University students and middle-aged regulars sipping away at O'Brien's $2 domestic bottles and well specials. The hearty Pabst Blue Ribbon tallboys are the drink of choice for most. If you happen to be at this cozy red-brick-walled spot on a Tuesday night, stick around, because the college-night beer-pong competition can get rather intense. Alex Rendon

Turn 3

23032 Sandalfoot Plaza Drive, Boca Raton, 561-483-1964, turn3sportsbar.com

A stock-car-enthusiast bar nestled in a west Boca Raton strip mall that's anchored by a Western Beef supermarket: paints a pretty accurate picture of what you'll discover inside this smoke-filled drinking den located in the Sandalfoot Plaza (this is not the typical BMW-driving, Prada-purse-carrying Boca Raton we all know). This extremely smoker-friendly locals' joint with spinning rubber tires affixed to ceiling fans attracts an older clientele of blue-collar types — a large percentage of whom seem to wear bandannas and know one another on a first-name basis. The $1.75 domestic drafts and $2.25 well drinks are the specials. There is also a crock pot filled with mystery soup in the front of the place for those hungry (or inebriated) enough to try. Alex Rendon

Chops Lobster Bar

101 Plaza Real S., Boca Raton, 561-395-2675, chopslobsterbar.com

An upscale steak and lobster joint is probably not the first place that comes to mind as an after-work stress reliever. But make it to this exquisitely decorated restaurant, located in a prime sector of downtown Boca Raton, during its happy hour (5 to 8 p.m. Sunday through Friday), and enjoy discriminating pleasures like succulent pan-fried baby lobster tails and supple baked blue oysters at nearly half off. Washing them down with Chops' chilled-to-perfection, hand-shaken martinis is a luxurious treat that can cure just about any work-related malaise. Alex Rendon

Baja Café

201 NW First Ave., Boca Raton, 561-394-5449, bajacafe.com

Located on the wrong side of the tracks in downtown Boca Raton, this hidden Cali-Mex gem makes the best proper margaritas this side of the Rio Grande. Its rustic, Mexicali-style interior — with stained-glass windows depicting cacti and rancheros, and clothes hanging from laundry lines — oozes character as well. The colossal salted-top libations are on special every day, like two for one all day Wednesday. Although not on special, the aptly named "kick ass"(Milagro Silver tequila, triple sec, and orange liqueur served in a 17-ounce glass shaped like a ranchero boot) will be a swift kick in the rear to get you rightly sloshed. If straight up is more your style, the deep selection of tequilas gets the specialty treatment as well. Alex Rendon

American Rock Bar

1600 E. Hillsboro Blvd., Deerfield Beach, 954-428-4539

The name American Rock Bar should probably give you an idea of what type of music will be blaring from the sound system in this sparkling new bar in Deerfield Beach's Cove Shopping Plaza. But besides hard-rocking tunes amid posters of rock 'n' roll legends such as the Beatles and Jimi Hendrix, what really brings the 20- and 30-somethings here is the chance to party Jim Morrison style: a three-for-one happy hour. That's three well, call, premium liquors, martinis, house wines, or domestic drafts for the price of one — the stuff alcoholic dreams are made of. Keep an eye out for the stripper pole in the back bar room too; it's put to good use by patrons as they become more and more uninhibited. Alex Rendon

The Cove

1754 SE Third Court, Deerfield Beach, 954-421-9272, thecoverestaurant.com

For 30-plus years, this massive Deerfield Beach waterfront restaurant, with three separate bars, has been the most consistent spot for after-work libations. Its idyllic, picturesque location, right on the Intracoastal, only adds to the convivial vibe, which can get downright raucous on its legendary Friday nights. That vibe makes this one of Broward County's most notorious meat markets. An eclectic crowd — ranging from businessmen, barflies, and frat guys to beach bunnies and boater types — pack the bar from 4 to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday. It keeps the specials pretty simple: half off all drinks. Get there early enough and you'll also enjoy tasty, free appetizers such as chicken wings and corn fritters. Alex Rendon

Crabby Jack's

1015 S. Federal Highway, Deerfield Beach, 954-429-3770, crabbyjacks.biz

Exactly what kind of crabs you are going to get when walking into this working-class version of Hooters on Federal Highway in Deerfield Beach remains to be seen, but what's guaranteed every night of the week are cheap drinks — mainly $1.25 Icehouse drafts and $2 Pabst Blue Ribbon tallboys during happy hour until 7 p.m. You'll also get 69 (classy!) percent off everything from 9 to 10 p.m. — that works out to $1 Miller Lights and $1.32 Heinekens. Dress casually here, because the staff surely will be, most wearing short shorts that barely cover their posteriors. Alex Rendon

Big Bear Brewing Co.

1800 N. University Drive, Coral Springs, 954-341-5545, bigbearbrewingco.com

The two-for-one specials on well drinks and house wines offered are nice, but let's cut to the chase: Everyone comes to this Coral Springs brewpub for happy hour to savor some deliciously crafted microbrews. Although one dollar off its five regularly-on-tap beers and three seasonals isn't a whole heck of a lot, be grateful for any discount offered on these freshly concocted drafts of beauty. The headliner here is the Kodiak Belgian Dubbel, a sweeping, full-bodied Belgian-style abbey ale brewed with authentic Belgian ingredients — it could be mistaken for the nectar of the gods. Alex Rendon

Bru's Room

5460 W. Hillsboro Blvd., Coconut Creek, 954-571-6999, brusroom.com

This sports-bar behemoth located one block east of 441 on Hillsboro Boulevard has something for every suburbanite. Even the kiddies will delight in its well-equipped game room complete with trinket arcade games — providing an excellent distraction for those parents wanting to sneak a couple of stiff ones in after a hard day at the office. This confluence of Parkland well-to-dos with ne'er-do-wells offers an extended happy hour from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. with half-off domestic drafts, wells, and house wines. If it's a Thursday, stay until 9 p.m. for ladies' night on the outside patio. With the gals drinking free booze until midnight, DJs pumping dance tunes, lights blazing, and a fog machine smoldering, this is as wild as the suburbs get. Alex Rendon

Galuppi's

1103 N. Federal Highway, Pompano Beach, 954-785-0226, galuppis.com

Galuppi's, the indoor/outdoor restaurant and lounge at the public Pompano Beach Golf Course, has been a gathering place for area locals since it opened in 2005. Golf-course proximity, a reasonably priced Sunday brunch, and 50-inch-plus plasma screens showing sports bring families and sports fans. But it's the weeknight two-for-one happy-hour specials on all cocktails, house wines, and an impressive range of draft beers from 4 to 7 p.m. that sweeten the deal for bar hoppers, who can drink on the cheap as they watch the sun set over the golf course. Courtney Hambright

Briny Irish Pub

3440 E. Atlantic Blvd., Pompano Beach, 954-942-3159

Just off A1A on Atlantic Boulevard, Briny Irish Pub brings Ireland to the beach. A variety of people populates the small space, including tourists, but mostly locals gather between these nautical-themed walls, especially during happy hour from 3 to 9 p.m. Monday through Friday. Specials include $2 domestic drafts, $2 and $3 well drinks, and $3 Chardonnay and Merlot. Erica K. Landau

Kalahari Bar

4446 NE 20th Ave., Oakland Park, 954-351-9371, kalaharibar.com

The Kalahari may be a desert in southern Africa, but here in Fort Lauderdale, it's a watering hole that nurtures the vibes of the mother continent for us locals and South African expats. Scan the room and you'll see that you're mingling among South African knickknacks including zebra skins. Happy hour runs Monday through Friday from 4 to 7 p.m. Specials include five-for-$10 domestics. On Sunday, enjoy two-for-one Van Gogh Vodka drinks and free pool. If you can't bring yourself to grab a Budweiser or Van Gogh cocktail to watch that rugby game and you want something that captures the spirit of the place, we suggest throwing back some Castle Lagers. Erica K. Landau

Tequila Sunrise

4711 N. Dixie Highway, Oakland Park, 954-938-4473, tequilasunrise.us

When a restaurant and bar's happy-hour motto is "It costs you more to go straight home," it grabs our attention. When that place is a bright oasis of cheap drinks in an otherwise dreary row of strip malls in Oakland Park, it gets us on the bullhorn. The festive, colorful two-room Tequila Sunrise restaurant and bar draws a large crowd of locals with its dirt-cheap happy-hour prices. From 3 to 7 p.m. every day, cocktails and house margaritas are $2.99, and jumbo 46-ounce margaritas cost $7.99 — both are made from fresh juices. Dos Equis and Miller Lite drafts and house wines cost $1.99. Courtney Hambright

Rosie's Bar and Grill

2449 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, 954-567-1320, rosiesbarandgrill.com

Screw Disney: Rosie's is the happiest place on Earth. The restaurant/gay bar is a miasma of bright lights, flashy music vids, dazzling décor, blasting pop music, and friendly locals. Not to mention the cheery paper-lantern-covered patio. Now add a boatload of half-price drinks in the mix and Rosie's ascends from the happiest place in the world to complete and utter heaven. Happy hour spans a healthy eight hours, allowing you to wake up with Rosie's beloved bloody marys at 11 a.m. and wind down with half-off beers, wines, and premium well drinks until 7 p.m. Join the lovely, curvaceous Danielle (the waitress on whom "Rosie" is based) and a score of upbeat bartenders every week, Monday through Friday, and watch the Patrón fly off the shelves. Oh, and it doesn't hurt that the food on Rosie's menu kicks absolute ass. Tara Nieuwesteeg

Georgie's Alibi

2266 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, 954-565-2526, georgiesalibi.com

We've got to give it up for Georgie's Alibi. The popular restaurant and video bar in the heart of Wilton Manor's gay nightlife district seems intent on defying all happy-hour commandments. Thou shalt not serve premium liquor, for example, doesn't hold here. Without exception, all drinks are two-for-one. Thou shalt return to full price by 7 p.m., they dismiss. Monday through Friday, this very generous happy hour runs from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Georgie's has been a hot spot since it opened in 1997, and now we know why no one ever wants to leave. Courtney Hambright

Bill's Filling Station

2209 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, 954-567-5978, billsfillingstation.com

Walking into Bill's is just like visiting your local mechanic's shop — if your mechanic happens to be a kick-ass bartender who doles up stiff drinks to a huge underground garage full of burly bearded bears. Instead of cars, there's several huge rooms full of red leather and chrome, stacked tires, pool tables, a Wii, and — that Wilton Manors staple — plenty of places to shake your sexy ass. Bill's long-lasting 2 to 9 p.m. happy hour doubles your pleasure with two for ones, and that includes all drinks in the house — meaning everything and anything your liquor-lusting mind can concoct. Special: Anytime a train passes by and drowns out your witty barroom banter, Bill's offers $1 shots. If every garage were like this, you'd love it when your car breaks down. Tara Nieuwesteeg

Scandal's Saloon

3073 NE Sixth Ave., Wilton Manors, 954-567-2432, scandalsfla.com

Do you have friends in low places — where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases your blues away? Even if you're not big on social graces, no one will mind if you slip on down to this oasis: Scandal's Saloon, nestled deep in the heart of Wilton Manors. Scandal's boasts an ass-kicking happy hour from noon to 9 p.m. Monday through Saturday and all day Sunday (domestic and wells go for $2.50 a pop, premiums are $4, and that top-shelf stuff cuddles up to your liver for just $4.50 each) that will satisfy even the thirstiest cowboy. Mingle with the friendly cowpokes and buy the sexy-ass bartenders a round! With "happy hour" dragging out from high noon to 9 p.m., you can kick up your heels to Garth Brooks on the expansive dance floor — under that beautiful boot-shaped disco ball — until you pass out. Bonus: After 9 p.m., drink prices hike up a lil' bit, but they still run cheap enough to keep the liquor flowin' freely. Tara Nieuwesteeg

The Manor Restaurant & Lounge

2345 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, 954-626-0082, themanorcomplex.com

The Manor, a six-room megaclub complex in the heart of Wilton Manors' gay party district, kicks off its Tuesday-through-Friday parties right with four hours of two-for-one "you call it" drink specials accompanied by a $5 tapas menu. At these prices, cheese-stuffed chilies wrapped in bacon, Jack Daniel's BBQ chicken flatbread, calamari fritti, and Angus sliders with cheddar and bacon go down easy with two Grey Goose dirty martinis for the price of one. The party starts at 3:30 p.m. and runs through 7:30. Courtney Hambright

New Moon Bar

2440 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors, 954-563-7660, newmoonbar.com

Nightly activities such as karaoke, live music, and DJ dance parties keep the New Moon gay and lesbian bar in Wilton Manors perpetually packed. But 40 hours of premium two-for-one specials per week don't hurt either. Shots and premium wines are excluded, but ounce for ounce, the indoor/outdoor bar's drink specials are pretty hard to top. Happy hour runs from 2 to 7 p.m. Monday through Thursday (well, all day Wednesday), noon to 9 p.m. Friday, and noon to 6 p.m. Saturday. Plus, on Monday, New Moon sweetens the deal with $5 Stoli martinis all night long. Courtney Hambright

Kalahari Bar

4446 NE 20th Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-351-9371, kalaharibar.com

The Kalahari may be a desert in southern Africa, but here in Fort Lauderdale, it's a watering hole that nurtures the vibes of the mother continent for us locals and South African expats. Scan the room and you'll see that you're mingling among South African knickknacks including zebra skins. Happy hour runs Monday through Friday from 4 to 7 p.m. Specials include $2 domestics. On Sunday, enjoy two-for-one Van Gogh Vodka drinks and free pool. If you can't bring yourself to grab a Budweiser or Van Gogh cocktail to watch that rugby game and you want something that captures the spirit of the place, we suggest throwing back some Castle Lagers. Erica K. Landau

Mai-Kai

3599 N. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale, 954-563-3272, maikai.com

Since it opened in 1956, the Mai-Kai's tropical environment has transported tourists and attracted a large following of loyal tikiphiles. From its exotic garden to its fiery nightly dinner show, tendrils of authentic Polynesian culture touch every facet of the Polynesian-inspired complex. Locals know to come only for the drinks, and the best time for that is the daily happy hour at the Molokai Bar. There are half-priced drinks — including the "barrel o' rum" and "piña passion" (served in a pineapple) — and appetizers from 5 to 7 p.m. On Wednesday, there's a free buffet with sushi, sliced pork, and chicken (but did we mention locals come just for the drinks?). Live surf rock, rockabilly, and Polynesian bands play on Friday nights. Courtney Hambright

America's Backyard

100 SW Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-727-0950, myamericasbackyard.com

Fort Lauderdale's cookout-themed outdoor nightclub knows how to strike a chord with the masses. America's Backyard ensures that anyone who might be doing something other than downing its two-for-one "u call it" happy-hour specials — like getting a manicure or hanging out at home with the dog — has no excuse not to be there. The happy hours are from 5 to 9 p.m. Wednesday through Friday. Wednesday "Girl Power Happy Hour" offers pampering for ladies, such as free mini-manicures and facials. On Thursday, the dog-friendly "yappy hour" allows pet owners to get cranked without neglecting their four-legged friends. Courtney Hambright

Wreck Bar

1140 Seabreeze Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-524-5551

There may be cheaper places in town to get wrecked, but you can bet your ass those places don't boast a pod of gorgeous, real-live mermaids who flaunt their assets freely as they swim by the portholes behind the bar. This classic haunt's underwater pool view and dark Florida-kitsch charm became famous in the movies Where the Boys Are and Robert DeNiro's Analyze This. At this joint, your Friday-night happy-hour special comes in the immaculate form of Marina the mermaid, eye candy at its finest. Swill down mojitos and drool longingly as she weaves through the water with utter grace, her enormous gold-red fishtail and curtain of dark hair floating in tow. Wreck Bar's been around forever, but you still can't beat the stiff drinks or Marina's spectacular, buoyant mermaid cans. Tara Nieuwesteeg

Himmarshee Side Bar

210 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale, 954-524-1818, sidebardowntown.com

A prime late-night party spot on the weekends and a sleek cocktail lounge at all other hours, Himmarshee Side Bar's appeal grows particularly strong between 5 and 7 p.m., when all drinks are two-for-one. On Friday evenings, Side Bar extends happy hour until 8 p.m. and serves a special menu that includes savory items such as smoked Gouda and crisp prosciutto mac 'n' cheese ($7) and Gorgonzola-stuffed dates ($8) at prices so reasonable, they don't need to be half off. Courtney Hambright

Samba Room

350 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-468-2000, sambaroom.net

This swanky Latin-fusion restaurant and bar in Fort Lauderdale's downtown business district is an elegant sit-down restaurant with a colorful bar, where samba sounds and signature mojitos, respectively, keep hips shaking and conversation flowing. Samba Room appeals to suits and sophisticates, but even the most modest among us can afford to hang out at happy hour, when all liquor and wine prices are reduced by $3 — that means $4 sangrias and $5 Horizontal Mango Mojitos. Beers are $1.50 off, and there's a special chef's menu with reduced-priced appetizers that range from $3.50 to $5. The happy hour runs from 4 to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday. Courtney Hambright

Bimini Boatyard Bar & Grill

1555 SE 17th St., Fort Lauderdale, 954-525-7400, biminiboatyard.com

Bright and airy, this Caribbean-themed dockside restaurant and bar on Fort Lauderdale's yacht-lined 15th Street canal is the spot to get up-close and personal with the Venice of America's seafaring types. Typical prices run on the high end of moderate, but not during the daily 4 to 7 p.m. happy hour, when Bimini serves $4 call drinks, $5 premium drinks, and half-off domestic beer, house wine, and well drinks. Cheap eats on the $3 "bar bites" menu include a quarter pound of peel-and-eat Old Bay shrimp, coconut-crusted shrimp, Bimini conch fritters, and dry-jerked chicken wings. Courtney Hambright

Morton's the Steakhouse

500 E. Broward Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-467-9720, mortons.com

Sharp time-management skills reap dividends at Morton's the Steakhouse, where the twice-daily "power hour" — between 4:45 and 6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. to close — offers the common folk a chance to partake in the good life. High-backed red velvet chairs line the bar, where floor-to-ceiling windows look out on regular, everyday life at the busy intersection of Federal Highway and Broward Boulevard, but Frank Sinatra's "Young at Heart" drowns out the sound of traffic. Drink specials include $4 select beers, $5 select wines, $7 select cocktails, and Mortinis. A "bar bites" $5 menu, subject to change, might include mini-crab cakes; lump crab, spinach, and artichoke dip; and petite filet mignon sandwiches. Courtney Hambright

Postcards at Pelican Grand Beach Resort

2000 N. Ocean Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-568-9431, pelicangrandresort.com

From 5 to 7 p.m. every day, this half-moon-shaped, old-fashioned resort lobby bar offers two-for-one specials on all drinks except aged premium liquors. The tall, old-fashioned room stretches up to a rounded ceiling, where an audience of pelicans overlooks the bar patrons. A popcorn machine provides free warm munchies, but there's also a $7 appetizer menu with calamari, spinach dip, chicken quesadillas, and wings. What's truly stellar about Postcards, however, is that it accesses the resort's long porch with white rocking chairs that provide a relaxing front-row seat to full moons on the Atlantic Ocean. Courtney Hambright

Dockside Café at 15th Street Fisheries

1900 SE 15th St., Fort Lauderdale, 954-763-2777, 15streetfisheries.com

15th Street Fisheries' red-lit, second-floor dining room is a renowned institution among South Florida seafood lovers. The Dockside Café, the establishment's casual first-floor dining room and outdoor patio, is better-known as a place to sip cocktails, feed tarpon, and gawk at megayachts. The bar serves two-for-one domestic drafts, house wines, and call-caliber single well liquor drinks — made with Smirnoff, Meyers, and Jose Cuervo — from 4 to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday as well as two-for-one Jose Cuervo Gold margaritas on Monday until 9 p.m. Also, select bottles of wine are half-price with entrée purchase on Thursday. Courtney Hambright

T-Mex Cantina

204 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale, 954-463-2003

T-Mex brings a taste of Cancun to Himmarshee with drinks that would fit any semiauthentic cantina. Locals sip on Modelos or delicious margaritas (two-for-one on Tuesday) and munch on tacos (also two-for-one on Tuesday) that soak up the alcohol just right. Happy hour buzzes with downtown professionals as well as creative types all trying to catch good times and vibes. Tuesday feature the best drink specials and taco specials all day, but any day is a party. Happy hour lasts from 4 to 8 p.m. Monday through Friday, except on Wednesday, when it lasts until 10 p.m. Erica K. Landau

Tarpon Bend

200 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale, 954-523-3233, tarponbend.com

By far, the hottest pickup spot and most raging happy hour in Himmarshee, Tarpon Bend packs in the white-collar types who've come to loosen their ties, throw back cocktails, unwind in front of the game, and flow onto the sidewalk. Tarpon offers a full menu that includes burgers, salads, fish dishes, and teasers like oysters, sliders, crab cakes, and garlic chili wings. All are perfect to wash down with the two-for-one drinks (except specialty drinks and high-end wine) offered from 4 to 7 p.m. Sunday through Thursday, 6 to 9 p.m. Saturday, and during the extended happy hour from 4 to 9 p.m. Friday. Erica K. Landau

Village Well

1023 SE 17th St. Causeway, Fort Lauderdale, 954-524-2531

Hidden behind Waxy O'Connor's off 17th Street on Cordova, the nautical-themed Village Well caters to all. You're as likely to run into the weathered village drunk — happy hour runs from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily! — and young adults watching sports to the snazzy Frank Sinatra wannabes who monopolize the karaoke mic singing tune after tune from Old Blue Eyes. Sundays boast a great unintimidating karaoke crowd. But if you don't feel comfortable flexing your pipes, the eight-hour happy hour should provide the kick or courage you need to bare your soul when singing "Sweet Caroline." The drink specials responsible for crushing your anxiety include $2.50 domestic drafts and well cocktails. Erica K. Landau

Shooter's Waterfront Café USA

3033 NE 32nd Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-566-2855, shooterscafe.com

Shooter's reeks of Fort Lauderdale "charm." Here, spring-break depravity was conceived, the wet T-shirt contest was born, and some of the bartenders have been serving frozen concoctions since before you were born, kiddo. So you ought to, at least, respect the tried-and-true Shooter's happy hour: 4 to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday. Swig down stiff two-for-one drinks (any drink conceivable qualifies, Shooter's boasts) and enjoy 30 percent off any appetizer on the menu. As you work yourself into a drunken (but affordable) stupor, don't forget to enjoy the scenic waterfront view, potential sea-life sightings, and scores of sexy tourists — maybe one of 'em will even be so inclined to drive you home tonight. tara nieuwesteeg

Coco Asian Bistro

1841 Cordova Road, Fort Lauderdale, 954-525-3541, cocoasianbistro.com

Coco Asian Bistro serves Asian-fusion cuisine in a relaxing modern environment. The happy-hour prices will also help you breathe easy. Coco serves two-for-one Svedka vodka and Gordon gin martinis at its happy hour from 4 to 7 p.m. Monday through Saturday as well as half-priced appetizers that can satisfy sushi cravings without putting you in the red. Find the likes of yellowtail tuna rolls ($4.50), volcano rolls ($6.50), and various sushi and sashimi pieces ($1.50) on the discounted menu. Also, Coco offers a free winetasting every Thursday evening. Courtney Hambright

Truluck's

2584A E. Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-396-5656, trulucks.com

At the Truluck's daily "cocktail hour," you can sip a kir royale ($5.50) or pomegranate martini ($6) while listening to a proficient tickle of popular songs on the ivories. A menu of select half-priced cocktails, martinis, and appetizers — such as creamy blue crab dip ($5) and duck tacos ($5) — is served from 4:30 to 7 p.m. every day of the week and 4:30 p.m. to closing on Sunday. The signature red-door martini ($6), a tribute to the spa next door, consists of Ketel One vodka, St-Germain Elderflower liqueur, muddled raspberries, a touch of lime juice, and a teaspoon of powdered sugar, and it's spectacular. Without exception, all bottles of wine are 50 percent off every Wednesday. Courtney Hambright

Landlubber's Raw Bar & Grill

1851 N. Pine Island Road, Plantation, 954-473-2884, landlubbersrawbar.com

This Plantation sports bar is a late-night dining spot (kitchen closes at 1:40 a.m. except for Sunday) that dishes up different food specials throughout the week — crab legs, baby back ribs, and prime rib. Though its two daily happy hours come at odd times, the specials are not to be dismissed. From opening until 6 p.m. every day and from 10 p.m. until close, Landlubber's serves $2.25 well drinks, $3.10 specials on select drinks (Captain Morgan's, Jim Beam, and Bacardi), $5.95 domestic pitchers, $1.20 ten-ounce drafts, and $2.65 25-ounce drafts. Happy-hour food specials include 60-cent wings and a dozen clams for $6.95. Courtney Hambright

Round Up Country Western Club

9020 W. State Road 84, Davie, 954-423-1990, roundupnightclub.com

A consistent favorite for the New Times' Best Of Broward-Palm Beach issue, Round Up Country Western Club offers locals a piece of the Deep South in Broward County. The corralled-in dance floor features country couples dancing to classic country hits and to the latest on the country music charts. Don't feel like you can dosido? The bar's drink specials should help with that. Women drink free on Wednesday and Friday from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. Thursday feature all-you-can-drink draft beer for $10, and on Saturday, patrons pay $15 to drink from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Erica K. Landau

King's Head Pub

500 E. Dania Beach Blvd., Dania Beach, 954-922-5722, daniakingsheadpub.com

The absurd juxtaposition of King's Head Pub, a Tudor-style brown-and-white building, to its location on the sun-scorched highway that leads to Dania Beach might make you laugh. But the dimly lit neighborhood pub's daily happy hour (4 to 7 p.m. weekdays and 4 to 6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday) will wipe that smirk right off of your face. There's nothing funny about getting a pint of Strongbow cider for $3, or imported brews like Tetley's and Fuller's London Pride, for that matter. Stella, Guinness, Harp, and other cherished drafts pour for the same price. Domestic bottles cost $2.25, imports and wells $3, and house wines $4. Courtney Hambright

Whiskey Tango

1903 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, 954-925-2555, whiskeytangofl.com

From America's Backyard to Exit 66, South Floridians can't get enough of casual watering holes that pay tribute to the good old U.S. of A. Whiskey Tango, which features live rock band karaoke on Thursday and live music on Friday and Saturday nights, is the newest. Plus, Tango's happy hour is long and strong, just like the democracy that's been kicking for almost 234 years. Between 11:30 a.m. and 8 p.m. every day, all cocktails are two-for-one and domestic bottles are two for $5 and imports 2 for $6. Hitting the prime happy-hour slot, from 5 to 7 p.m., adds $5 appetizers to the discounts. Courtney Hambright

SAS Martini Lounge

1814 Harrison St., Hollywood, 954-929-0755, sasmartinilounge.com

This swanky martini lounge along the southwestern edge of Young Circle in Hollywood mixes up creative long-stemmed drinks, such as cherry bomb and banana foster martinis, at two-for-one prices from 4 to 8 p.m. Monday through Saturday. A Greek platter with cheese pies, feta cheese, meatballs, and more normally goes for $12.95, but it's half-price during happy hour. Courtney Hambright

Ocean Alley

900 N. Broadwalk, Hollywood, 954-921-6171, oceanalley.net

The pedestrian Hollywood Beach Broadwalk is lined with an array of casual open-air restaurants and bars, but there's something about Ocean Alley that catches your eye. With hanging blue lights and a large ocean mural on the interior wall, the place almost looks like it's underwater, which is appropriate, because its drink specials are designed to wet your whistle. A two-for-one happy hour runs every weekday from 3 to 7 p.m., and depending on whether you get premium, imports, domestics, or call, you get a different color token, redeemable for a second drink of the same caliber during that or any other happy hour. Courtney Hambright

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