Birthday Party at the “Czar of All Dive Bars”

Bimini Bay is... Let’s try that again. Inside the Bimini Bay Bar dungeon of porn, located off the roads near the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, a string of bras and undies hang from the ceiling. On this fond afternoon, the bartender in a green St. Patty’s Day thong-bikini has giant angel wings tattooed on her back. Her name is Angel.

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• Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport
• Mark Pratt

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It was on this day that New Times found a message in a beer bottle, and we liked that bartender. The message read: “On a muggy summer’s eve 32 years ago, an underage woman lay in the arms of a sailor. Only a few days remained until the seaman was to be shipped out into the angry sea. The woman was nervous and inexperienced, but she allowed him to devour her body — thus becoming infected with his demon seed. Nine months later, a bastard child was born.”

New Times instantly stared at everyone at the bar. Who is this demon seed? There were only men at the bar, besides the bartender, who sort of resembled the woman on the porno screen. That bastard child has lived three decades of insanity — we did our journalism work. On her birthday Saturday, live music performances — first entertainment of this kind at Bimini — will spring forth from the parking lot: Leading the Heroes, Boxwood, and Rebel will perform. A DJ will be present: Mark Pratt. Celebrating the demon seed will start at 9 p.m. at Bimini Bay Bar (412 SE 32nd St., Fort Lauderdale) — small motels line the streets around it. Also in store is a free barbecue, if you actually still have your appetite, you know, for food. You can buy beers for $2.25. Bar is cash only. And there’s no cover to hang. Call 954-462-0040.
Sat., April 2, 9 p.m., 2011