Drinking Made Easy

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More About

• NL East
• National League (MLB)
• Florida Marlins
• Washington Nationals
• Cheers (TV Show)

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Local lushes, with being at a stadium such as Sun Life in Miami comes responsibility. Why do you want that? In the dark, dank world of Fat Cat’s, the contract of sobriety and rules is broken. Yes, when the Florida Marlins play the Washington Nationals at 7:10 p.m. Thursday, be at Fat Cat’s, your downtown watering black hole (320 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale). Let the Cracker Jack-eating waste their money on a ticket, and bring with you only the companions who understand the lush, drunk, or zombie drunken side of you. In this liquor shop, succumb to the drunkenness. Sit on a stool, fall off your stool — not going down 5 billion steps — it’s just a few feet, no big deal. If the Marlins are in the lead, drink vodka — if they’re losing, go straight for the whiskey. And you’ll know who won the game when you see the crumpled-up receipt in the morning — score! No shame in celebrating a win or a loss — the staff doesn’t care. They didn’t just walk off the sitcom Cheers. At Fat Cat’s, there is no time to get to know you — so cheer or grunt at the screen and order your drink. That kind of attitude satisfies the lovely, low-maintenance bartenders. And nothing will block you from the TV screen — this is not the place where female quasibartenders stand on the bar — if there’s ass shaking in your face, that’s because you did fall on the dirty ground. Call 954-467-5867.
Thu., April 7, 7:10 p.m., 2011