Boobs for America

Here in America, it’s perfectly acceptable to order a Big Mac meal with a Diet Coke. An ambulance takes longer to get to your house than a Jimmy John’s sub. And here in this gloriously free country of ours, we honor our dead soldiers with naked breasts.

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More About

• Diet Coke
• Memorial Day
• War Casualties
• War and Conflict

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Stage 84 had the right idea when it scheduled the upcoming “All American Reveal: A Special Memorial Day Burlesque Tribute.” Because really, what soldier wouldn’t want a sexy lady to strip down to her pasties and waggle her bosom in a suggestive manner? Admission for a night of titillating visuals is only $5 if you buy tickets early. Otherwise, the price is $10 at the door or $7 with a military ID. Doors open at 7 p.m., and the show begins at 8 at Stage 84 (9118 W. State Road 84, Plantation). Call 954-474-5040, or visit stage84fl.com.
Sun., May 29, 7 p.m., 2011