But Paul had a competitor. "I kind of had a crush on Weird Al Yankovic," Jackson confesses. "We kind of went on a date, but I don't know if he loved me or not."

In Jackson's brain, "there was this fork in the road." Down one path: Paul Wessel and Jesus, with their matching abs, and life as a poor, pious housewife in Miami. Down the other: Weird Al, SNL, and loads of sinful showbiz cash.

After making up her mind, she got a tattoo of Paul's initials on her lower back. "Because he's the one that ruined my life," she explains without irony.

Half Nelson, Jackson's sitcom pilot with Joe Pesci, lasted six episodes.
Courtesy Victoria Jackson
Half Nelson, Jackson's sitcom pilot with Joe Pesci, lasted six episodes.
Victoria Jackson at a gig hosting a Christmas show on a Florida beach.
Giulio Sciorio
Victoria Jackson at a gig hosting a Christmas show on a Florida beach.

That's why she quit SNL in 1992, she says. She headed back to "the swamp" — as she calls Miami — to marry Paul. Two years later, they had a daughter named Aubrey. Jackson's movie career quickly dried to a crust.

But there's one problem with her morality tale, in which she sacrificed riches and fame to make the perfect God-fearing family.

"No, no, no," agent Dolores Robinson clucks when relayed her former client's claim that she quit SNL. "They dropped her."


Outside a Miami Lakes Starbucks in the pouring rain, Jackson sits under an awning that provides only partial cover. Water soaks her bare legs and pools on her Mac laptop and cell phone. With her Flip cam balanced on a stack of conservative books — Marx & Satan, Socialism Shakedown, The Manchurian President — she recounts taking her youngest daughter, 17-year-old Aubrey, to a "gay party" held by Jackson's "newest gay friend, Seth." Jackson claims to have three gay friends — Seth, Alex, and Glen — and she makes frequent mention of them.

"After we left, I asked my daughter what she thought," Jackson says, her eyeglasses missing an earpiece and tilting down her nose. "She said, 'It felt like they were sad and ashamed.' Out of the mouth of babes!

"If you get killed because you're gay, the murderer gets extra time. It's hilarious! Alcoholism is a sin too, but you don't see an alcoholic pride parade. Alcoholics hide in little rooms in basements, and they go, 'Hi, I'm Fred.' "

A pair of women huddling from the rain gape at her. Jackson sometimes wonders why she can't get a mainstream gig. Is it her weight? "It's OK to be a liberal and be fat," she complains. "You've got Oprah, Rosie, you've got Joy Behar, you've got Whoopi, you've got the other ones on The View. [Or] if you're black, you're allowed to be fat, and that's sassy, sexy. But if you're white, you're not really allowed to be fat."

Jackson often blames Democratic policies for her modest, Honda-driving life. Her family lives in a $200,000 townhouse with a concrete dock on a murky green pond. Her husband, now an MDPD helicopter pilot, makes $120,000 annually. But, she says, alimony to the fire-eater left them broke. Public records reveal that Eventoff sued her in 1995, claiming she owed $89,000.

The cash shortage spawned a sad, short standup comedy career. In the early '00s, Jackson worked clubs around the country while the couple raised two daughters. She made about $4,000 a weekend, she says. Her material was mostly riffing on hating Miami. She did gigs with SNL alumni Lovitz and Kevin Nealon as well as forgotten former cast member Joe Piscopo. That last pairing was called "the most depressing Saturday Night Live reunion ever" by the Onion's A.V. Club.

In 2004, she released a self-produced, full-length documentary about the grief of being away from her family. It debuted at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival. "Nobody watched it," she says. Much of it is close-up footage of her sobbing in hotel beds.

But then she discovered something life-changing: When she talked about Obama being a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, people watched — and cared. Jackson says she knew nothing about politics and rarely voted. But conservatives asked her to speak at a gathering in a Mexican restaurant in Burbank. That first political speech's talking points: "The Ten Commandments have been kicked out of schools. We're killing 37-hundred-something-thousand babies a day... I don't know, 37 hundred a day or something like that. A million a day, I don't know. I'm not good with numbers. We're killing lots of babies every day. It's infanticide. Its genocide. We are... How can God bless our country, seriously?"

She then attended what she says was L.A.'s first Tea Party rally, on the Santa Monica Pier, in February 2009, carrying a sign reading, "We don't want no socialism." She read to the crowd of 50 the definitions of capitalism, communism, and socialism. A week later, she was waving a Bible on the Sean Hannity Show. Soon she recorded a new song, "There's a Communist Living in the White House," in both English and inanely broken Spanish.

In early 2011, she began writing for the right-wing website World Net Daily. She received loads of attention for her editorial on a kiss between two male actors: "Did you see Glee this week? Sickening!"

Around that time, she went on the "Tea Party Cruise for Liberty," a weeklong boat ride in which she met Brandon Vallorani, founder of the website Patriot Update. The site's motto is "A free press for the conservative revolution"; Chuck Norris is a columnist. "We hit it off immediately," Vallorani says, and he conceived of an online show for her and three other mostly unknown conservative female contributors: PolitiChicks. It's billed as The View for right-wingers, and Jackson says she earns a "modest" living from it.

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10 comments
jaybee
jaybee

Considering all of the drugs the rookie class of SNL were known to do, her current mental state makes perfect sense. I hope I'm as crazy as her when I hit her age.

FQS9000
FQS9000

Would the New Times with this liberal biased hit piece be a flapping arm of the RABID leftists? 

Manny
Manny

You spend so much time trying to denigrate and make fun of honest to God people like this wonderful human being that just proofs that you know they are right, go and kiss Obamas's and all the antiamerican people, I feel sorry for you, you shall never know the beauty of beliening.  Manuel diez

marcinftlaud
marcinftlaud

What I saw in this interview was Victoria Jackson as the Blatant Holier then Thou Bible Beating Political Prostitute, that even though she admitting she knew nothing about politics and rarely voted, but when she called the President of the United States a Muslim, people listen and invited her places, and appears to compensate her for her to speak her Politically Uneducated banter 

Sbebe777
Sbebe777

Proof how parents can fuck up their kids beyond belief!

Pete Pepper
Pete Pepper

Its nice she blames everyone else for her failed career instead of herself.  Yes, its a plot to bring her down.  Wouldnt have anything to do with her insanity and preaching.  No, not that.Sad thing is, she wasnt a bad actress.  Course now we find out that behind the scenes she was torpedoing her own career.

marcinftlaud
marcinftlaud

Hey FQS !!:   She was, it seems, proudly telling her story of being sexually "EASY", and Difficult to work with. These are stories they had to get from her. She was the one that PROUDLY, admitted that she was being paid money and asked to go places, when she stared talking trash about the current "Elected" President ( which the last one was not, he was appointed by a GOP Congress & anointed by a GOP Strong Supreme Court, that had NEVER in history gotten itself involved in the "Peoples Elections ) .

And even more, she admits, to Not knowing anything about politics, nor was she much of an American, because she didn't vote much. Which, just shows she is being a Political prostitute. If she got her political education, by watching one sided slanted (Fuex) news entertainment ( and that is questionable ) and reading Rabid Right Winged , we hate Progressive thought books, by Corporate attack dogs, that want to rule the country for their personal financial greed, then she doesn't come off with ANY credibility ! 

According to the Treaty of Tripoli Article XI, passed by the US Congress in 1797 ( our forefathers - the creators of this nation ) and I quote "The United States is in no sense founded upon the Christian Doctrine. 

Read the real history of this country, which includes actual Congressional records, not the Re-written history created by those that wish to mislead the American Citizenry. 

Pete Pepper
Pete Pepper

Gotta love how the right frightwingers come out of the woodwork to scream hit piece when its an interview using the very words and ideas of the person they want to defend.  What?  She didnt say horrible things?  It was all made up?  Ive seen interviews of her in the past and yes, she really IS this nuts.And what the hell is "beliening"?  Reading and writing is very fundamental if your trying to get a point across.

marcinftlaud
marcinftlaud

Mr. Diez: ( by the way you should always capitalize the 1st letter of your last name )I am not denigrating her, she did that well enough on her own in the interview. She is making a mockery of her beliefs, as she proudly tells the story of her life.And you prove yourself to be an uneducated person with your comments of " kissing the Presidents rear end and calling him and others that support and believe in him Anti-American" Please remember it was George Bush's policies that placed us in the Deep Deep recession, by giving 2 unpaid for Tax breaks to the wealthy, Going into a War by lying to the Congress & the American Public, Not Budgeting 2 wars, but calling for special financial payments for the 2 wars. Also giving Multiple No Bid Contracts to all of His & Dick Cheney's corporate buddies, that basically raided our treasury. 

Before you put fingers to the keyboard, you should turn off Fox ( Fuex ) News programs, and actually read Congressional records.

 
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