At fetish parties, there are rules about what you can do to a stranger, so in many ways, these parties are safer than going to regular bars. You're generally not supposed to bother other people during bondage play. If anything, a man or woman may approach and ask if he or she or both can join.

Those who don't follow the rules — particularly about safety — are kicked out, with Fetish Factory maintaining a list of banned offenders. One such exile is an older man who goes by James Bondage, who has a rope tied to his junk that he wants people to use like a leash. In the S&M world, the sub picks a safe word — and when it's used, the dom ceases. The problem with James Bondage is, he doesn't follow safety protocol: Even when he's bruised and broken, he never utters the safe word.

Back at "Submission," a beautiful, Puerto Rican woman in latex rubbed my torso and legs as she danced behind me. Her husband stood behind her. They've been together for eight years, and he told me that she has free rein with girls and that he has no desire to hook up with another woman or man. He said he used to bring a flogger to parties, and if a girl asked him to use it, he would always ask his wife for permission first. At one party, a blond newbie who wore next to nothing asked him to spank her. Although his wife didn't seem to care at the party, a few months later, when they ran into that blond again, his wife was standoffish. So now he doesn't bring the flogger with him anymore.

Fetish Factory enjoys its obscurity. "We're the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt,"  says Matt Havoc, left. "We're the reason she's smiling."
Antonio Angelo
Fetish Factory enjoys its obscurity. "We're the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt," says Matt Havoc, left. "We're the reason she's smiling."
Lady Lethe (in mask) makes domination an art form.
Antonio Angelo
Lady Lethe (in mask) makes domination an art form.

Details

A Glossary of "Fetish Terms of Endearment"

Dom: The dominant person, the top, usually the person who yells; can be male or female. It's also the old-school term for a woman in charge, the almighty dominatrix.

Sub: The submissive person, the bottom, the one who wants no fucking control for a bit.

Switch: A kinkster chameleon; someone who enjoys switching from dom to sub, depending on the mood or partner.

Slave: A term some submissives prefer to be called. Typically, these subs want to be treated like actual slaves. Just not like the pre-Lincoln era.

Pet: The antithesis of being a slave while still remaining a sub. The pet is loved. The dom takes good care of his pet.

Rubber: Shiny clothes made out of synthetic plastic polyvinyl chloride, referred to as PVC or vinyl garments; actual rubber (think the Batsuit).

Rubberists: Fetishists who wear such garments.

BDSM: Combines these abbreviations into one catch-all category: B&D (bondage and discipline), D&S (dominance and submission), and S&M (sadism and masochism).

S&M: Can be sadomasochism (the practice in which both parties get off: the one giving pain as well as the one receiving it, usually during sex); or slave and master; or, as Matt Havoc describes it when pertaining to him, "Stand and model."

Robin came by and said he had lost Havoc somewhere in the crowd. We conducted a search. Robin had me call and text Havoc. We made plans for Robin to come home with me. Robin worried because he didn't have any condoms.

Finally, Havoc, still dressed like a hot woman, reappeared. Robin told him what we were going to do. Havoc didn't seem to care. Since he's not involved, there was no worry.


Editor's note: James Bondage contacted us to say: "I do use the safe word when I deem it necessary and always have and will. Sometimes it is not honored promptly as it should be, but that is another matter."

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6 comments
Patrick Lobo
Patrick Lobo

Awesome stuff..You actually placed right stuff on the table.I hope more users will get the information that i receive from you..florida swingers

TyDoll
TyDoll

one clarification: rubber is rubber! vinyl is just vinyl!

Roslin
Roslin

As a woman in the scene, I'm VERY happy with how well written this article is. I know both Matt and Robin and have also gone to the Electrolust parties. A few years ago i would have never thought myself part of this scene/lifestyle, but i am happy that i have found my place.  I too found the love of my life at the Fetish Factory parties and we now go together as a couple. It is so much fun to people watch, dance and play.

SirHeart
SirHeart

well written and fun to boot , held my interest and stirred some old memories and tweaked some new desires . . .

Jack Allen
Jack Allen

Hello.  Is Ms. Huffington here yet??It's okay.  I'm here now.

Guest
Guest

Was this an internship?

 
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