4chan Camgirl Loli-chan Grows Up

Loli and her older brother, Todd, were always kept on a short leash. Although they lived in an idyllic neighborhood lined with bougainvillea, Loli was never allowed to ride her pink Barbie bike without an adult around. She was also taught not to associate with neighborhood kids.

As a quiet child in elementary school, Loli enjoyed drawing with her best friend, a tanned girl who always wore her dark-brown hair in a single braid. All of that ended just before middle school, though. One day the friend said she was only using Loli for her collection of how-to-draw-manga books. "I always thought she drew better than me, so that was weird," Loli says.

Jaime and Ilene never enrolled Loli in activities or sports, which suited her just fine — she preferred to stay indoors and play videogames anyway. So she retreated into the world of Gaia Online, an anime-themed message board that caters to children. She was 13 years old. Her parents placed no restrictions on the time she was allowed to spend in the family's computer room, and she was left to her own devices. Loli would post on Gaia for hours, trying to make her avatar perfect.

A portrait of Cracky-chan drawn by Loli-chan.
Courtesy of Loli-chan
A portrait of Cracky-chan drawn by Loli-chan.
Pat Kinsella

"I wanted little digital clothes for my little digital person," she remembers. "So I sent someone pictures of my boobs and vagina."

She had experimented with sex on Yahoo Chat the year before, when she was 12, having sexually themed conversations with strangers. So, she reasoned, it wouldn't be that much weirder to take the next step. The whip-smart Loli also realized it could be lucrative.

One day, she went into her parents' bathroom and took close-up photos of her anatomy, which she then traded for a green Mandarin gown worth 12,000 "Gaia Gold" pieces that she used to dress up her avatar. "Honestly, I felt nothing," she says.

Loli says she became a social outcast in her Catholic middle school after admitting she was an atheist. She found it easier to make friends online, where her social awkwardness was mediated by distance and the barrier of a computer monitor. It wasn't long before another e-friend, Josh, introduced her to 4chan.

The lanky and pale-faced boy told Loli that 4chan was more fun than Gaia, but explicitly warned against posting pictures because the forums there were filled with pedophiles.

There were lots of jokes about such men on the boards, but Loli didn't take the rumors seriously. She began posting photos of herself a year later, thinking the older guys would be amused that "an actual 12-year-old" was reading their vulgar posts.

The first shot she uploaded to 4chan was benign; Loli had the same cherubic face she has today, but with long, light-brown hair and bangs. She looked even younger than her age, and that fact was exaggerated by a backdrop of dolls and teddy bears. The message written on her upraised hand was "Sup /b/" — a reference to the site's board for random, non-anime postings and an homage to Cracky's "Sup 4chan" introduction. Soon people began referring to her as a Chan, which both empowered her and fueled her desire to post. She says she became addicted to the attention, like a drug, and would check comments on her photos as soon as she got home from school every day.

She hadn't yet read Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita but understood the implication.

"I got given the name Loli because I looked even younger than I actually was," she says. "And while I initially thought it would be funny, it turned out I was the punch line."

She posted her screen name on the board and was courted by hundreds of men per day. She would chat with them for hours in the family computer room, where she had arranged the tower so it would block her parents' view of the monitor.

Loli-chan's images weren't pornographic; many were even innocent, such as a video in which she rapped the theme song from the TV show The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. In fact, that was part of the appeal for many of the fans who found her endearing.

But for some people, those images were just a precursor to something awful waiting to happen. One day, Jacqueline Singh, a private military contractor in Iraq who frequented 4chan, decided enough was enough.

Loli had posted a photo of herself wearing a uniform bearing her school's logo. Singh called the school and told administrators about what their young pupil was doing online.

Just after Loli began eighth grade, her parents were called into a meeting with the principal and head priest.

The conversation at home afterward was awkward, Loli recalls. Her mom and brother sat there silently as her father told Loli all of her internet privileges were being revoked.

"It was basically super-embarrassing, and he framed it in terms of me posting pictures for pedophiles, which wasn't the way I looked at it," she says. "Unfortunately, I saw my parents as my enemies and thought they would never understand, and I had the attitude that I was gonna keep taking pictures and save them and post them all when I was 18."

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2 comments
stallion333
stallion333

My Uncle Joseph recently got an awesome blue Mercedes-Benz R-Class Diesel by work part time using a lap-top. my sources J­a­m­2­0­.­­o­m

smdrpepper
smdrpepper

Sad story, but one that has a very important lesson.

 
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