"And that's my point. You can call me a bully. But I'm what you've made me — just like the cops and criminals and politicians you complain about. Want to toughen up a rookie? I'm your man. Block 300-pound defensive linebackers who want to run train on Ryan Tannehill? I'll do it. But don't expect me to be Mother Fucking Teresa as soon as the fourth quarter ends.

"Besides, unless we embarrass some sponsor or create a scandal on ESPN, y'all don't really give a crap what happens to us ballplayers anyway," Richie said, slugging back a tumbler of Wild Turkey and tossing the glass over his shoulder into the sand. "You don't care if we're concussed out of our minds or end up shooting ourselves in the chest so scientists can figure out what's wrong with our heads. You only want to know about our injuries when you might lose money in your fantasy football league."

Richie stood up in the hot tub completely naked, now wagging more than one shriveled, pale kielbasa.

Alvaro Diaz-Rubio
Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

"It's not just football, either. South Florida is built upon shit like this, like a swamp. You don't ask where the money for skyscrapers or art museums comes from; you just smile and throw a party. Then you act surprised when some corrupt politician goes to jail.

"You need bullies like me because we do the dirty work that lets you stay clean," he said, pointing a pickled finger at the camera. "So that Ryan Tannehill stays pretty and sells shampoo. And so that you get a good show on Sunday."

Richie slumped back into the hot tub, grabbed another glass, and flashed his $4 million-a-year grin.

"See you dildos next season."

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3 comments
1catmandude
1catmandude

If these are real people why didn't the sissy put a hatchet in-cognito's forehead? Not even the biggest sissy in my neighborhood would buy someone a plane ticket or anything else especially for a fat loudmouthed sissy football player. Let him join the UFC and demand a plane ticket from even the worst athlete. Chuck Lidell is retired and would put him out like a wet cigarette butt.

j.trainer
j.trainer

wow u r such a doosh...  i apologize on behalf of this lame ass author for anyone who wastes their time reading this article...  Incognito obviously didn't write any of this crap because if he did, this part of the story would have blown up a looooong ass time ago...  "It was funny because I really am an asshole, like that time just months earlier when I used a golf club to sexually assault a woman during a team outing. Hilarious, right?"  nobody is dumb enough to write that.... George Zimmerman! How could I have forgotten him? My brothah from anothah mothah! Pudgy, violent, and without remorse, just like me. After his acquittal, that dude would come over to my place in Fort Lauderdale. We'd get shitfaced, play Call of Duty, I'd call him a "half-Mexican" (or Peruvian, whatever), and we'd end up punching each other until we passed out" ...  COMMON MAN!!!  this article is complete bs and the author of this should be accused of bullying...   Michael E. Miller you are a disgrace to the world of journalism...... no...  this isn't journalism, this is garbage...   Michael E. Miller, you are a disgrace to garbage...  if this so-called video submission of incognito is real, let's see it...  Otherwise, please crawl back into the dumpster  Michael E. Miller...  U R A BULLY...  if anyone reads this comment but wants to get the best Dolphins info, just google Salguero cuz this  Michael E. Miller is a clown!!!

Bebep
Bebep

@j.trainerI hope you asked Santa for a sense of humor this year.

 
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