We don't give a shit whether you believe the origin of Halloween came from the Celtic festival of Samhain, which celebrates the end of the summer; or if you believe it came from the festival of the dead, which celebrates the miraculous dead; or if you just think it's a ripe time to celebrate the season of friggin' seeds. It's Halloween. Everything starts at Halloween. Going to have a good Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year? Solely depends on how awesome your Halloween is. Cram all these activities in -- plus other various ones sprinkled out throughout this issue -- and you'll be sure to have a fine holiday. We don't want you to wake up Tuesday healthy. Here's your anti-survival guide:
Thursday, October 27:
Catching you up: Zombies invaded downtown Fort Lauderdale last Friday night. They crawled through puddles and shook cars. But none of the bars downtown would let those zombies in. Their walk was a sober one... And that's sad. But Thursday changes that. The zombies can get fucked up tonight at the Magic Hat Zombie Pub Crawl. From 6:30 to 8 p.m., Magic Hat pints will be $3 for those dressed as the living dead at Lucky's Tavern (214 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale), while Return of the Living Dead appropriately plays. From 8 to 9 p.m., rampage on toward Fat Cat's (320 Himmarshee St., Fort Lauderdale), where all Magic Hat pints will be two-for-one for zombies. Drink those liquefied brains. Then from 9 to 10 p.m. comes the meat. Rok:Brgr (208 SW Second St., Fort Lauderdale) will offer the undead 10 percent off the total check -- and of course, you zombies will get deals on all the Magic Hat brewskies. Then, as it should be, zombies will end up at the Poorhouse (110 SW Third Ave., Fort Lauderdale) at 10 p.m. to ooze to the sounds of Zombies! Organize!! and the Freakin Hott. The deceased, watch out for the zombie costume contest during the crawl: One prize will be a Magic Hat cruising bike, courtesy of Nirve -- getting you to those brains faster.
Friday, October 28:
Laser Wolf, Fort Lauderdale's favorite bar for the working creative types, will have its official Halloween party on Friday, starting -- most likely before you're even out of work -- at 5! (It will end at 3 a.m.) Yes, throw on a costume, but we warn you not to dress up as a jerk. They have one steadfast rule as far as we know, and that's "No jerks." As always, the fellas will have nine, fine craft brews on draft. DJ Blue and the Commissioner will play records, and there will also be a special secret guest performance, but Laser Wolf (901 Progresso Drive, Ste. 101, Fort Lauderdale) is honoring that secret by keeping it a secret at the time this goes to press. Don't forget to go treating outside: Truckin' Good Pizza will be set up.
For the dark, non-costume-wearing seekers, you may dance your ass off for free at Respectable Street (518 Clematis St., West Palm Beach). But by all means, wear a costume if you want -- they just didn't require 'em on their Facebook invite is all. "Red Shadows" returns for its second year, and that means DJs Allan and Floyd will play ghostly, gothic tunes from the likes of Bauhaus and Sisters of Mercy as well as scary, enchanting stomp music courtesy of Nitzer Ebb and Front 242. Friday's drink specials are always nice there: $3 for whatever is beer of the month and $3 for Honey Jack shots. Visit respectablestreet.com.
Or will it be the Monster Mash at the rockabilly Monterey Club (2608 S. Federal Highway, Fort Lauderdale) on Friday? Reap the benefits of winning best monster or zombie for their costume contest. Phoenix/Nebulin, Twitch, Half Head, and D/Effektor will perform. Visit themontereyclub.net.
Saturday, October 29:
If you want to head to Clematis Street's notorious free street party, called Moonfest, for those who love music, check out our music section and read all about it. Besides hearing more than ten bands, you can score 1,000 bucks in the costume contest. Clematis Street gets turned into a freaking carnival: There will be rides, games -- and, well, freaks. Visit moonfest.us.
You know downtown Fort Lauderdale. Is it the largest street party on Halloween? It sure feels like it. But we can't stay away, can we? -- even though we become sardines on the streets. It seduces us with 13 outdoor bars. And the hours are convenient: 7 p.m. to 4 a.m. If you head on down to Himmarshee, expect DJs, costume contests full of very-close-to-naked ladies, and the musical act Tuxedo Jesus. Stumble down Third Avenue and visit the Poorhouse for the Independent Working Artist Network's free "Florida? Yeah!" night. Dooms de Pop, a New Way to Live Forever, and Pocket of Lollipops are set to perform.
There's always Shooters (3033 and 3003 NE 32nd Ave., Fort Lauderdale). In its 29th year, this fiesta AKA street party has 15 bars set up and boasts a steep $10,000 costume contest. You're damned lucky if you're the first-place winner: That person takes home five grand. Visit shooterscafe.com.
Every year, there's gotta be at least one coffin procession. Start at Mickey Byrnes Irish Pub (1921 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood) -- in costume -- and pub crawl. But make sure to head back to Mickey's at 9 for the wake, which will also be a costume party. Visit mickeybyrnes.com.
Sunday, October 30:
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Let's head on over to wickedly fun Wilton Manors now. Got a pet? Dress that fine lass up. From 1:30 to 4 p.m. at Hagen Park (2020 Wilton Drive, Wilton Manors), it'll be HOWL-o-Ween. The pet costume contest will begin at 2:30 p.m., and the categories include: best costume owner and pet (that's cute!), best costume for big dogs, best costume for little dogs, and -- get excited -- best group costume. Get the whole gang together (people and pets).
That night at Hagen Park will be the Manors Masquerade: An OUTrageous Fantasy from 7:30 to 11 p.m. What makes a "mega" costume contest mega? The competition includes the categories: best outrageous fantasy, best celebrity look-alike, best ensemble or group, best drag, best leather, and best scary. Who will be the judge? None other than Project Runway's first winner, Jay McCarroll. Admission is free at Hagen. Visit manorsmasquerade.com.
Monday, October 31:
Trick or treat.
Oct. 27-31, 2011