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Happy New Year, Love Your Outfit

One imagines — in those deadline-driven moments when one is paid to imagine — that our American-style New Year’s Eve must seem somewhat staid, even rote, to a gay porn star. This is the date, after all, when civilians pack together in too-warm apartments, messily uncorking champagne bottles, watching a ball drop in ol’ Times Square, counting down to a climax that involves — what else? — sheer fireworks. Then everyone grabs the nearest mouth and performs a bit of hurried suck-face before getting completely smashed and throwing up a stomachful of Brut on the cab ride home.

This is all pure conjecture, of course; perhaps the truth for both New Year’s and for gay porn is duller than the stereotype. For instance, this New Year’s Eve, Boardwalk (a bar gayer than Clay Aiken’s autographed Lance Bass poster) is hosting none other than Aden and Jordan Jaric, a married gay couple who perform together in smut. Here, again, is where your typical New Year’s and the gay porn stars’ run parallel. Most parties will include a handsome young married couple, even if they won’t always both be dudes in the sort of relationship in which neither wears the pants for very long. The boys will kick out the ’00s late on Thursday at Boardwalk (1721 N. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale). Doors open at 3 p.m. Call the bar at 954-463-6969, or visit the NSFW
Thu., Dec. 31, 3 p.m., 2009

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