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No eye-gouging or finger-breaking, boys
No eye-gouging or finger-breaking, boys
Mike Gorman

Maiming for Fun

SAT 5/24

Do you like a good fight? I mean a real tooth-and-nail, knockdown, drag-out war. No, I'm not talking about any Jerry Springer theatrics -- that stuff is for housewives. And no, I'm not referring to the Mike Tyson circus act -- that stuff is for freaks. I'm talking about blood and guts, when the two combatants cause real pain and the canvas is splattered with crimson and flesh.

OK, to those of you who are now throwing up your Frosted Flakes, I sincerely apologize. However, to those of you who are still reading, apparently this kind of entertainment appeals to you.

Well, you are in luck. On Saturday, the Absolute Fighting Championships bring their brand of martial-arts warfare to the War Memorial Auditorium (800 NE Eighth St., Fort Lauderdale) at 7 p.m. This will be the third time in the past six months that AFC has come to War Memorial, and the fight card is more packed than ever, including former UFC champ Jens Pulver.

Absolute Fighting Championships is a relatively young, South Florida-based organization ready to raise a bunch of eyebrows. According to AFC promoter Wade Rome, his show is a pure-fighting, frills-free brand of entertainment, and its singular goal is to entertain. In fact, when asked if he had a title, Rome's snapped: "We are not interested in building a bureaucracy, just a damn good show. Anybody that comes to our events will see just that, a damn good show."

Wow, talk about attitude! If you like serious doses of testosterone and adrenaline in your pastimes, AFC is right up your alley. All right, the state no longer allows gouging eyes, butting heads, or breaking fingers. Sorry. Even so, this will definitely not be your mother's idea of a nice evening (unless, of course, she's a dominatrix).

Tickets for this AFC event cost $13 to $30. Call 954-828-5380. -- Russ Evans

SUN 5/25

Road Race

Moroso Motocross

Feel the need for speed? You can satisfy your craving for the fast and dangerous at Moroso Motorsports Park (17047 Beeline Hwy., Palm Beach Gardens). It's stop number five out of 13 in the Florida Road Racing Championship sanctioned by the Championship Cup Series. Spectators will see a variety of imported superbikes race around the 2.25-mile track, reaching up to 190 mph as they battle it out on a road course with 13 dangerous turns. Are you an amateur racer? CCS aims to appeal to all sports racers, and it gives beginners a chance to become experts by attending racing schools at events like this. Gates open at 8 a.m. Sunday for practice, and if you can't cut away from the barbecue, catch the real deal on Monday with the GT Races at 9:30 a.m. Call 561-793-3394. -- Beth Kirkpatrick

THU 5/22

Let's Roll

Anyone who knows an avid bowler knows that bowlers take their sport seriously. You just have to watch a movie like The Big Lebowski to realize there are fanatics like John Goodman's character who might go so far as to pull a gun on the lane. Starting Thursday and running through June 2, the National Bowling Association rolls into Fort Lauderdale for it 62nd-annual Bowling Tournament. Activities include doubles and singles events, mixed doubles, a battle-of-the-sexes event, and the Rhodman Championship Roll-Off. These events take place at various bowling alleys around Broward County. So grab your balls and get to it. Call 718-229-8668. -- Audra Schroeder

SAT 5/24

Who Got the Hoops, Baby?

So who is better, Trick Daddy or Ja Rule? Trina or Ashanti? No, I'm not talking about music. We all know these stars have considerable musical talent; just check out their recording contracts. I'm talking about hoops. I want to know which of these hip-hoppers has real hops. I wonder who has a killer crossover and who can't even make a layup. Think Fat Joe can dunk? Uh, Fat chance. Can white men jump? And more important, when do the canapes get here? We will soon find out, as these names and more take to the court. The "Source 3rd Annual Celebrity Basketball Game" comes to the Miami Arena (701 Arena Blvd., Miami) at 7 p.m. Call 305-530-4400. -- Russ Evans

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