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As with so many social injustices, South Park brought the plight of Jews on Christmas to the world’s attention when Kyle sang, “It’s hard to be a Jew on Christmas/My friends won’t let me join in any games.” Granted, it’s unclear what constitutes Christmas games these days, other than trampling elderly greeters at Wal-Mart or knocking back medicinal quantities of spiked nog when the relatives arrive. Jews know by now that they’re welcome, right? Even though the gentiles close down everything but the Chinese buffets in the hours before Santa Claus starts sweeping chimneys with his velvety ass? (Note: All descriptions of a “real” Santa, like those of a sentient and active Christian deity, are strictly for the wink-wink benefit of our youngest readers.)

Regardless, Jews have made clear that their games are open to all: On Christmas Eve, for the 24th straight year, dispossessed Jews (and everyone else who wants to get freaky on a religious holiday) are invited to the Mazel Tov Ball, a singles mixer that has mutated into an ecumenical club night. Make your own unholy night from 8 p.m. Thursday to 4 a.m. Friday at Gryphon, at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino (5711 Seminole Way, Hollywood). A cool $15 gets you in the door. Visit
Thu., Dec. 24, 8 p.m., 2009

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