Whether you're a loyal attendee or maybe a festival participant, you know that
1 . The Rookie
These specimens, whether old or young, male or female, arrive unaware of what is truly in store for them. Once inside, they often become high on endorphins, their eyes expand to twice their normal size, and they start taking panicked photos of anything or anyone they can. The Rookies can usually be easily spotted by the clothes they wear, plain and modern. Fear not, Rookies; yes, that’s right, you can rent garb once inside.
2. The Pro
You know who you are, and if you’re not sure, then you’re not a Pro. The Pro comes in many flavors, ranging from professional photographers, actors, and entertainers to passionate garb aficionados. Many a “cannoneer” wanders the festivities, snapping shots and videos of all the wondrous events and activities. Actors, entertainers, and musicians abound, doing their due diligence to ensure you have a magical experience. You will also run into many a proud patron, sporting their elaborate — and often expensive — outfits and gear. Known officially as “garb,” entire outfits are purchased but, more often than not, are made, personally, by the wearer. Pro’s take FLARF very seriously.
3. The Historian
This one is usually like that annoying kid from high school, who always tries to point out the historical inaccuracies and intricate yet irrelevant historical facts, typically while you are otherwise engaged in rabble-rousing, feasting, or trying to remember how many flagons of mead you may or may not have had. This creature is of no threat. Just nod and smile. Worst-case scenario: You might actually learn something. Best-case scenario: They can give you a ride home when the mead-induced “earthquakes” prevent you from standing.
4. The Village Drunkard
This rare bird can nearly always be identified in one of three ways. 1. Are they welcome dance partners for the hired entertainment? 2. Are they able to form a complete sentence?
5. The Errant Wench
Need I say more?
6. The Jack Sparrow
Well, to be more accurate, one of many Jack Sparrows. This character is a common sight, and each incarnation is different from the next. Some look like Jack but can’t act, while others may not have the looks down pat but portray the character and all his mannerisms with stunning accuracy and natural grace.
7. The Guy Who Thought He Was Going to Comicon
If you come to FLARF dressed as Charlie Chaplin, the White Power Ranger, or an emo anime character, then you might be at the wrong festival. Or maybe not. All are welcome.
8. The Turkey Gobbler
Once inside the gates of “
9. The Crotch Rocketeer
Although these may be few and far between, they do exist, and you will run into one eventually. Feel free to
10. Giant Native Rodents
While these critters may look all soft and cuddly, beware: They are 300 pounds of raw muscle underneath all that fuzz. It could take your arm off in a heartbeat, but if you are lucky enough for it to befriend you, then you’ve got a bodyguard for life. P.S. Do not feed after midnight.
The Renaissance Festival takes place at Quiet Waters Park, 401 S. Powerline Road, Deerfield Beach, from 10 a.m. to sunset every Saturday and Sunday until March 27. One-day admission is $21 for those ages 12 and older, $9 for those ages 6 to 11, and free for those age 5 and under. Visit ren-fest.com.