Email Author Gregory Weinkauf

2003 Stories by Gregory Weinkauf

• Upper Middle Earth

  published December 18, 2003

  You know how it's often the ones we love whose flaws are most apparent? Well, when it comes to The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the... More >>

• ' Pac, Man

  published November 20, 2003

  There was a gaggle of young women sitting near me during the screening of Tupac: Resurrection. They frequently voiced their enjoyment of... More >>

• Silly, Matrix Is for Kids!

  published November 13, 2003

  A not terribly long time ago in an uninhabitable galaxy called Burbank, a generally astute movie studio founded by four Polish siblings alienated... More >>

• Fixin' to Die

  published October 23, 2003

  I really like the cold -- it makes me feel really alive." There are few more attractive (or more atypical) things a woman can say, and when... More >>

• Diaper Dreams

  published October 2, 2003

  You gotta love John Sayles. No, really -- you gotta, or else a mob of indie-minded cineastes will club you into submission. Sometimes it's... More >>

• Groovy Ghoulies

  published September 18, 2003

  Somewhere in the deepest mists of Eastern Europe lies an urban hell shrouded in shadowy azure where darkly enchanted black-leather-clad denizens... More >>

• Ad-libbing on Tokyo Time

  published September 18, 2003

  Visualize Tokyo. Got it? Now add popular favorite Bill Murray, doing his "lovable shmoe" shtick. Toss in American Rhapsody's up-and-comer... More >>

• Angst in Their Pants

  published September 4, 2003

  Most will deny it, but inside every grown man lurks a hypersensitive adolescent girl. Allow me to tell you all about mine and to share some of my... More >>

• Captured and Enraptured

  published August 28, 2003

  Simon must propose to me now," exclaims pretty, simple-minded Rose (Rose Byrne), "before he meets somebody else or gets to know me better!" ... More >>

• Le Fromage

  published August 21, 2003

  Ah, Paris -- City of Light, of Love, of Liver Damage and Lung Cancer. C'est formidable, non? Who in need of a posh vacation would turn down... More >>

• London Underground

  published August 14, 2003

  It's a great pleasure to behold a chunk of art that's both dank and fresh at the same time, and this appraisal perfectly fits the superb Dirty... More >>

• Slight Flub

  published August 14, 2003

  When was the last time you said to yourself: "Y'know, what I seek for my viewing pleasure is a boring, obscenely diluted remake of Fight... More >>

• Shredheads

  published August 14, 2003

  Deck. Wheels. Attitude. This is the stuff of Grind, a new comedy about skateboarding and its effects on the human psyche. Neither young... More >>

• I Am Siam

  published July 24, 2003

  If, in keeping with current fads, you seek movies featuring females kicking a bunch of ass, your appetite will be tended (and cultivated) at the... More >>

• Reduced-Salt Dogs

  published July 10, 2003

  To prepare for reviewing Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, I did the obvious research: I watched Yellowbeard... More >>

• Sidestep of the Machines

  published July 3, 2003

  Much like "hilarious Islamic comedy" or "sublime Affleck picture," the term "terrific second sequel" isn't bandied about too much. Name one. Took... More >>

• Just Like a Woman

  published July 3, 2003

  What is it with women, anyway? They want to be safe walking the streets at night; they want to be able to trust strangers; they want the world to... More >>

• The Young Girl and the Sea

  published June 26, 2003

  Once in a while, a film comes along that is as sound, smart, sweet, and significant as can be, and Whale Rider is such a film. Fault the... More >>

• Spanish Fly on the Wall

  published June 12, 2003

  French putz Xavier (Romain Duris) is depressed. The poor guy lives in Paris, has Amélie's Audrey Tautou as a girlfriend, eats... More >>

• The French Conniption

  published April 17, 2003

  Imagine a large, dead Saint Bernard with its bones removed. Then visualize a hefty bellows inserted into it from behind, with a gorilla hopping up... More >>

• Wangled Angles

  published April 10, 2003

  While admitting to being neither a giddy young girl nor a particularly stupid adult, this critic shall review What a Girl Wants as... More >>

• Core Blimey!

  published March 27, 2003

  In the hit Armageddon, our planet -- big mother, source of life and self -- is threatened by Ben Affleck and other calamitous horrors, with... More >>

• Bass Ackwards

  published March 27, 2003

  In nature, living things prey upon each other all the time. Humanity, on the other hand, has a choice. It is flouting this choice that excites... More >>

• Underneath the Bunker

  published March 20, 2003

  Adolf Hitler killed his own dog. Most of his other evil is well-documented now, and words alone are inadequate anyway, so let's begin by... More >>

• SEAL Appeal

  published March 6, 2003

  John Shaft went to Africa, so why shouldn't Die Hard's John McClane? In the new action romp Tears of the Sun, Bruce Willis... More >>