Email Author Michael J. Mooney

2008 Stories by Michael J. Mooney

• Undisputed Underdog

  published December 11, 2008

  He's at the gym before the owner, and he must wait by the door, watching morning traffic along a rust-colored stretch of highway 441 in... More >>

• South Florida maintenance man becomes Barack Obama impersonator

  published October 30, 2008

  He exits the Starbucks at Federal Highway and Broward Boulevard on a warm Wednesday afternoon. Traffic slows, and drivers stretch their necks... More >>

• Maker of Wigs for Dogs Strikes Gold with Sara Palin Number

  published October 30, 2008

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• Cypress Bay High sacrifices itself for football rivalry, TV ratings, and corporate money.

  published October 23, 2008

  They stare at the untied ties hanging around their necks. In the humid weight room at More >>

• Joe Badran is supposed to help keep Broward County schools diverse, but Americans Against Hate says he supports Hamas and terrorism

  published October 9, 2008

  Footage is grainy and the voices are difficult to hear over the yelling in the background. The picture shakes as the camera gets closer to Joe... More >>

• The Real Girlfriend Experience

  published September 18, 2008

  It began with an awkward phone call: "Would you like to, um, go bowling with me?" "Go what?" "Go... uh... bowling. Would you... More >>

• Pedaling Around

  published August 21, 2008

  A white boat about the size of a Cadillac labors out of the shadows beneath the 17th Street Causeway. Dwarfed by the gross displays of marine... More >>

• Royal Flushed

  published August 7, 2008

  At a poker table, perhaps nothing is more disturbing than a well-tanned man. This is a man of luxury. Has the time in his schedule to lie... More >>

• The Paul and Young Ron Experience

  published July 31, 2008

  A smiling, stubbled man known simply as "Toast" lines up styrofoam cups, uncorks the Patron tequila, and begins dishing out shots. One for the... More >>

• Dirty Type

  published July 17, 2008

  Pompano Beach residents have the filthiest fucking mouths in the whole state of Florida. Well, maybe not mouths but fingers. That's confirmed... More >>

• Sexual Healing

  published July 3, 2008

  Part of him wanted to lay her down on the bed and hold her and make passionate love to her the way they do in romantic movies. Part of... More >>

• Rubber Doll

  published June 26, 2008

  Camera flashes reflect off her skin-tight, red-and-black rubber corset. Shiny electrical tape covers her nipples. Wearing sleek fishnet... More >>

• Sobriety in a Bottle

  published May 22, 2008

  This is the old Mike Briggs. Curled up on the bathroom floor — convulsing, sweating, heart racing. Retching into the toilet. The whites... More >>

• Look at That Pig in Lipstick

  published May 8, 2008

  A woman is giving away her $1.25 million mansion in Ocala. The house, replete with two 50-foot porches, three crystal chandeliers, and a... More >>

• No Country for Old Communists

  published April 24, 2008

  His hulking Russian bodyguard preceded him at every turn. Next came his translator, a thin, bald man with a brown mustache and a thick accent.... More >>

• New Dogs, Old Tricks

  published April 10, 2008

  It may not have mint juleps and gaudy hats, but this year's $150,000 Greyhound World Classic — billed as "The Kentucky Derby of Dog... More >>

• Can I Call him “Gorbie?”

  published April 10, 2008

  He is arguably the person most responsible for the end of the cold war. He was the last man to preside over the Soviet Union, helped end... More >>

• Spring Break Is Still Decadent and Depraved — and Awesome, Dude!

  published April 3, 2008

  Kacey was blue. Not because someone had just awakened him. Not because it was 4 in the afternoon, and he was naked and confused. No, he was... More >>

• The Muscle Men

  published March 13, 2008

  Grass doesn't get any greener than on major-league baseball's spring training fields. It's the annual dawn of each season, when vivacious young... More >>

• The She-Zebra

  published February 14, 2008

  If you're watching a football game and start complaining about one of the referee's calls and the petite woman sitting at the bar next to you... More >>

• The Dying Light

  published January 17, 2008

  This is a story about failure. It's about a particular kind of failure — an American kind. It's about the failure of art measured... More >>

• Jammer Man to the Rescue

  published January 17, 2008

  He came into the bookstore huffing loudly into his cellphone, ignoring turned heads and annoyed glares. His voice shot across the room, a... More >>

• Are Hospitals Helping the Homeless?

  published January 3, 2008

  A few times a year, for eight consecutive weeks, Sean Cononie teaches a first-responder and emergency medical treatment class. The students... More >>