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2011 Stories by Rebecca Dittmar

Archives: 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010
  • J-E-L-L-Ouch!

    published May 26, 2011

    You’re curious. It’s OK. You’ve been to a few meets now, seen some action. You find yourself asking questions. “Where do these... More >>

  • Being Regular Feels So Good, You Want to Sing

    published May 26, 2011

    Though the calendar might say otherwise, true South Floridians know that summer is here. For the most part, the snowbirds have flocked home again,... More >>

  • More Hot Girls

    published May 19, 2011

    Beautiful, barely clothed women with bodacious bodies are a dime a dozen in these parts. They’re so common, in fact, one might almost get... More >>

  • Bride Wars

    published May 12, 2011

    Maybe it’s the white dress. Or maybe it’s the veil, fluttering delicately around the, ahem, maiden’s face. Whatever it is, blushing... More >>

  • We Love the Smell of Burgers — Smells Like Victory!

    published May 12, 2011

    In America, it’s never enough just to eat a burger. It has to be the biggest or the juiciest or the weirdest or the most fattening burger... More >>

  • How Bazaar

    published May 5, 2011

    A gift from the Swiss, dadaism never made much sense — please, do not defend it. Dadaism is the shortest section of the Norton Anthology of... More >>

  • Double-Duty Fashion

    published May 5, 2011

    Florida fashion has to be cutting-edge and climate-friendly. Fashion-industry hopefuls vying to make their mark here have to pull double duty as... More >>

  • The Revolution Will Be Shared (You Like This)

    published April 28, 2011

    The social-networking generation has arrived. There are Facebook pages for everything from multinational conglomerate megacorporations to the... More >>

  • Princess, Save Thyself

    published April 28, 2011

    Ladies, you might not have realized it back when you were toddling around in cartoon-character underwear, but fairy tales were originally written... More >>

  • History on Canvas

    published April 21, 2011

    In school, history can be deadly boring: all those lists of dates, battles, inaugurations, names. Meaningless-looking timelines that stretch... More >>

  • A Play by Any Other Name Is Still Shakespeare

    published April 21, 2011

    Harold Bloom is perhaps the world’s preeminent scholar on all things Shakespeare. A purist, Bloom considers Shakespeare to be the epicenter... More >>

  • A Less Drunken Bus Loop

    published April 14, 2011

    Florida has history. Sure, Fort Lauderdale’s only 100 years old, but other places — places you didn’t realize existed in South... More >>

  • Get a Clue!

    published April 14, 2011

    In England, where it was created, it’s called Cluedo. Here in America, it’s just Clue. Don’t deny it’ you loved it all: the... More >>

  • Who Doesn’t Love a Man in Uniform?

    published March 31, 2011

    Sure, there were some subplots along the way, like truth, justice, the American way, blah, blah, blah, but let’s face it: Comic books were... More >>

  • Start With What You Know

    published March 31, 2011

    “Write what you know” is probably the most-clichéd-yet-wisest, overused-yet-useful piece of advice a writer can receive.... More >>

  • Mom Always Said I Was Funny!

    published March 31, 2011

    When filling out an online dating website questionnaire, do you list your sense of humor as your best quality? Do you have a masochistic need for... More >>

  • If Cupcakes Are Bad, We Don’t Wanna Be Good

    published March 31, 2011

    Eating a cupcake may be a sin — depends on who your trainer at LA Fitness is. But tattooed burlesque girls dressed in shiny... More >>

  • Short Is In

    published March 24, 2011

    Gather ’round, young people, and we’ll tell you a story. Our protagonist is Martin Short. You might remember Short from such... More >>

  • Light It Up

    published March 24, 2011

    Oh, art — that indeterminable and elusive thing — that which, like beauty, exists only in the eye of the beholder. One man’s art is... More >>

  • Large Slice of Beefcake to Go, Please

    published March 17, 2011

    Female chauvinist piglets, rejoice! Now you can have your very own beefcake to objectify, all for a very good cause, of course. Head over to... More >>

  • Hot Bods, Free Drinks, Etc., Et Al., Ad Nauseum

    published March 17, 2011

    Hot-body contests and VIP bottle specials might not exactly be a one-of-a-kind occurrence in South Florida, but that doesn’t mean you... More >>

  • Circus Playhouse for Adults

    published March 10, 2011

    True born-and-raised Floridians probably remember Circus Playhouse in Hollywood. Long gone now, it was a progenitor of the ubiquitous Chuck E.... More >>

  • Kermit, We Know How You Feel

    published March 10, 2011

    It’s not easy being Irish in South Florida — the sun is not our friend. But there’s one day a year when the palest among us can... More >>

  • Self-Portrait Takes on a Whole New Meaning

    published March 3, 2011

    Existence is a blank canvas upon which the mural of your life is painted. Some people take this sentiment more literally than others. Some people... More >>

  • A Grave Romance

    published February 24, 2011

    Ghost. The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Casper. Poltergeist romances can make it seem that the only way to find a man with a good... More >>

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