Best Place To Poll God

It's here that the people of Broward County, and indeed all the world, can come to find out God's stance on all the hot political issues of the day. The good Rev. D. James Kennedy calls his white, towering church, "God's house," and that's where the Creator lets his political views be known. Gay rights? Not on your eternal life. Disney World, with its "Gay Days," has become a "Gomorrah with rides," according to God as told to Kennedy. God's having none of this abortion stuff, either. Just look at one of the church's Websites (, where God has a hand in telling antiabortionists how to "control the debate" and "sell" their image, which needs to be changed from one of "intolerant, inflexible, unintelligent religious fanatics." Coral Ridge tells all those unintelligent religious fanatics, "We must become a NEW pro-life movement…, reasonable people with a credible position." While God has a big problem with abortion, Coral Ridge reminds us that there are few things the Big Guy likes better than a good execution of a sinner. Violence is OK, too, as long as it's against the young. ("He who spares the rod hates his son," Coral Ridge reminds us on that Website.) And finally, never, ever watch the act of human coitus. God knows pornography is a damnable thing -- even if He did invent it.

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