Best Tourist Trap
For visitors (or even us locals, who should know better) looking for a place to hemorrhage money, the nearly two miles of corridors of the Sawgrass Mills Mall offer more than 400 opportunities to spend. Get an aqua-massage. Buy new shoes in one of the more than 35 shoe stores. Have your jewelry cleaned. Buy clothes from places like Last Call! The Clearance Center from Neiman Marcus, OFF 5th-Saks Fifth Avenue Outlet, Tommy Hilfiger Company Store, POLO Ralph Lauren Factory Store, and Gap Outlet. Restock your shelves or even buy new ones from Target. See a movie at Regal 23 Cinemas at the Oasis at Sawgrass Mills. Eat out at one of the six sit-down restaurants in the Oasis or at the Rainforest Café. If more suitcases are needed, at least nine stores sell them, including Samsonite. Alternately, stop in at the U.S. Post Office to send things home. The pedestrian word for all this excess is "shoppertainment"; 26 million people partake of it annually at the mall. Thank goodness 11,000 parking spaces surround the mall. Additionally, 6000 tour buses each year drop off visitors to spend a day spending, spending, and spending. The mall is a testament to American consumerism and excess. It's everything Osama bin Laden hates about America, and he's probably just jealous.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss New Times Broward-Palm Beach's biggest stories.