Best of Broward-Palm Beach®

Best Of 1999

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Best Of :: Arts & Entertainment

Best Imitation Of A "Best Of" Issue

Only one publication qualifies for this category because only one started calling its yearly issue "Best Of" after New Times Broward•Palm Beach moved into Fort Lauderdale in November 1997. Six months later, what had formerly been known for years as "Survival Guide" (put out by City Link's predecessor, XS) was changed to "Best Of." Coincidence? We don't think so. The New Times group (ten papers nationwide) has been putting out "Best Of" issues for more than 20 years, Miami New Times for the last 10. In fact the artwork for City Link's first "Best Of" issue was done by the same collage artist, Bruce Helander, who created Miami's "Best Of" cover in 1996. But that's OK. City Link isn't known for its originality; it specializes in rehashing stories already reported by parent paper the Sun-Sentinel and reprinting snippets from others. In fact the more we think about it, the more we're reminded of that old saying, the one about imitation being flattering. City Link -- we never knew you cared.

Best Place To Watch 14-Year-Old Girls With Short Green Hair Moshing

At night this dank strip-mall billiard hall is transformed into a teenage nightclub for the colored-hair, my-mom-signed-my-piercing-consent-form young'uns. Featuring various local and touring punk and ska bands (many in their teenage years as well) on the small corner stage of Q's musty, concrete-floored space, here the kids have carte blanche to pogo, slam or mosh till the cows come home. The p-rock kids sport the uniforms of their generation (and a few before them) -- liberty spikes and mohawks, shin-length shorts, chain wallets, and T-shirts with slogans from the classic "Punks Not Dead" to the updated "Got Punk?" The well-worn wooden bleachers facing the stage only add to the sophomoric atmosphere; this is their playground -- if you're old enough to drink beer, you probably won't fit into this microcosm of rushing energy and hormones. As Bryan Adams put it, "The kids wanna rock." At Club Q they do just that.

Best Place To Watch 14-Year-Old Girls With Short Green Hair Moshing

At night this dank strip-mall billiard hall is transformed into a teenage nightclub for the colored-hair, my-mom-signed-my-piercing-consent-form young'uns. Featuring various local and touring punk and ska bands (many in their teenage years as well) on the small corner stage of Q's musty, concrete-floored space, here the kids have carte blanche to pogo, slam or mosh till the cows come home. The p-rock kids sport the uniforms of their generation (and a few before them) -- liberty spikes and mohawks, shin-length shorts, chain wallets, and T-shirts with slogans from the classic "Punks Not Dead" to the updated "Got Punk?" The well-worn wooden bleachers facing the stage only add to the sophomoric atmosphere; this is their playground -- if you're old enough to drink beer, you probably won't fit into this microcosm of rushing energy and hormones. As Bryan Adams put it, "The kids wanna rock." At Club Q they do just that.

Best Polka Musician

Warm up the accordion and the kielbasa, because when Jimmy Sturr comes into town, polka music becomes all the rage. OK, it's not all the rage. But at least part of it -- especially at the American Polish Club of Lake Worth (561-967-1116), where Sturr performs each year. In fact, with 100 albums, nine Grammy awards and an "I'm-a-handsome-guy" smile, Sturr, a sometime Singer Island resident, just might be king of all things polka. He recorded his latest album, Dance With Me, with the help of the Oak Ridge Boys. But even with its oom-pah-pah polka beat and the good-timey lyrics of such songs as "Make Mine Polka" and "My Polka Dot," this latest recording is downright bland compared to Sturr's live performances at both national and international polka festivals. Says one wizened old-timer from the American Polish Club: "He'll knock your socks off."

Best Polka Musician

Warm up the accordion and the kielbasa, because when Jimmy Sturr comes into town, polka music becomes all the rage. OK, it's not all the rage. But at least part of it -- especially at the American Polish Club of Lake Worth (561-967-1116), where Sturr performs each year. In fact, with 100 albums, nine Grammy awards and an "I'm-a-handsome-guy" smile, Sturr, a sometime Singer Island resident, just might be king of all things polka. He recorded his latest album, Dance With Me, with the help of the Oak Ridge Boys. But even with its oom-pah-pah polka beat and the good-timey lyrics of such songs as "Make Mine Polka" and "My Polka Dot," this latest recording is downright bland compared to Sturr's live performances at both national and international polka festivals. Says one wizened old-timer from the American Polish Club: "He'll knock your socks off."

Best Comedy Club

Uncle Funny's is pretty much it in this category for professional standup in Broward County. In Palm Beach County, there's the Comedy Corner, which is owned by the same guy who owns Funny's, Andrew Dorfman. In the past few months or so, Uncle Funny's has featured national talents like Dom Irrera and Bobby Collins and the Corner has presented the really hot Chris Rock. The Saturday night we went to Funny's, Sheryl Underwood performed an amusing set. Underwood is a short black woman who is a little overweight, carries a purse, and dresses in professional attire. It's an illusion -- she's a self-described "ho-ish bitch addicted to dick," and her first bit is about the wonders a certain showerhead does for her private areas. We loved her (especially when she performed a snippet of fellatio on her microphone). While drinking an overly expensive beer, we got to listen to some of her nastier observations and her amusing riffs on Bill Clinton, Oprah, and Montel Williams. We would have liked to have seen a little more Underwood. She was only on for an hour, about the time it takes her to get a man from the barstool to the back seat.

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Best Imitation Of A "Best Of" Issue: City Link Best of Broward/Palm Beach '98

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