Best Place To Meet Members Of The Opposite Sex (2000)

Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale

Praise Jesus! On Saturday nights at Calvary Chapel, the place is literally swarming with hundreds of beatific young hotties in the throws of passion. Of course they're all hot and passionate about the big J.C., but don't let that dissuade you. Just think: What would Jesus do? We think he would've scored. Remember Mary Magdalene? Anyone sucked in by the mind control of organized religion could surely be susceptible to your own persuasive powers. Just remember to talk about the Power and the Kingdom and the Glory. And when you wake up on Sunday morning and tell your new friend that you'd rather be stapled to a cross with footlong spikes than ever set foot in that church again, well… we hope he or she will take it in the Christian spirit. Amen.

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