Best Seats in the House (2001)
Section 106 at Pro Player Stadium when the Marlins play the Atlanta Braves
Hello, what's this piece of paper that just fell at your feet from two rows up? Why, it's a photo of the reviled reliever himself (in which his mouth is agape, as always). You search your pockets for a writing implement, debating whether to go with (a) devil's horns, (b) Hitler mustache, (c) hayseed between the teeth, or (d) all of the above.
"Excuse me, did my picture fall down there?" You look over your shoulder at a mousy, bespectacled woman in a Braves T-shirt. Silently you hand her the snapshot, and watch in bemusement as the woman strides down the steps, leans over the bullpen wall, then returns with her hero's autograph.
Another spectator asks her why she's such a fan of the big fella. "Because he's honest and he speaks his mind," she declares in a slight drawl.
You look back down into the 'pen, where the paragon of homespun, folksy wisdom is about to sit back down. It's now or never. You take your best shot:
"Hey Rocker, you suck!"
Ooh. Stung him with that one. Definitely.
More Sports & Recreation Awards
Best Paragon of Coaching PatienceJohn Boles
Best CoachRay Hudson
Best Tennis CourtsFlorence Hardy Park
Best Dolphins PlayerLamar Smith