Best Place for Heavenly Bodies (2004)

Faith Body Fitness

And lo, unto the buffet didst thou go, and there ye did tarry amongst the starches and plentiful prime rib, sinking ever deeper into the iniquity of two dozen kinds of pies, taking into thy breast the butter-fried tilapia and candied pork. And then didst thy body protest against thy loin garment. And the heavens opened, and a voice commanded, "Get thee to a temple of weights." So moved by the words and thy greatness of girth didst thou wander into Faith Body Fitness for redemption. Then did ye casteth thine eyes upon the wall and readeth the holy motto from I Corinthians 6:19: "What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" And thou cast down $350 for a one-year membership. And thy heart and soul and gut stood right with the Lord.


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