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Best Place to Dispose of a Body

Big Cypress National Preserve

Depressed because everything buried in South Florida eventually rises? Just venture west on Alligator Alley and soon enough, getting rid of your dirty laundry becomes a numbers game. Big Cypress National Preserve contains 729,000 acres, few visitors willing to get off their off-road vehicles, only a handful of access points, and many lightly trampled trails, perfect for throwing law enforcement off your scent. Around the Bear Island area at mile marker 70, hike north across the plains until you can't hear the highway anymore and wade through some chest-high water into a palm-tree hammock, where the ruins of old hunting camps sit undisturbed and out of view. Remember, leave only the body, take only photographs. A bonus: The 150 or so panthers left struggling to survive in this area are competing with hunters for a scarce deer supply, so you'll be donating some much-needed sustenance to an ecosystem on the brink.

Best Cheap Thrill

Horseracing at Gulfstream Park

Courtesy of Gulfstream Park

Not so long ago, Gulfstream Park was a desolate place, inhabited only by grandpas and other Sansabelt-wearing creatures. It came alive only when crowds filled the rickety bleachers for the occasional Blondie reunion show or Tiffany concert. So we had our doubts in 2006 when it underwent a multimillion-dollar renovation. Who goes to horseraces anymore? we questioned. Fast-forward and, well, these are some bitter words we're eating. Never again will we underestimate the power of a Crate & Barrel, some slot machines, and a Container Store. Today, Gulfstream is a palatial shopping, dining, and gambling complex that is, during season, slammed — thanks in part to the fact that admission and parking are free. We admit: It's a little titillating to order a mint julep from one of the many bars, watch the breathtaking horses trotted around the paddock before a race by dapper jockeys, and march up to place a bet. Warning: This is only a "cheap" thrill if, and we repeat, if you stick near the minimum-dollar bets.

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