Certainly, more glamorous destinations are within jetting distance, but a perfect escape excludes any trip that involves traffic on I-95 or getting felt up by a TSA agent. So, yay for us, a high-speed ferry to Grand Bahama Island debuted late last year. It's not exactly the Queen Mary, but it does have hardwood floors, a gift shop, and comfy lounge chairs. Regular tickets cost $75 each way, $50 each if you go there and back the same day, and kids under 6 travel free. Through a link from the Bahamas Express website, you can book a hotel stay. Once on the island, play golf, go snorkeling or fishing, shop for a nice straw hat, or swim with dolphins. Or call the tourist board at 242-352-8044 to get hooked up with a native Bahamian who shares your interests and will pal around with you for the day. That's a solid weekend trip for simple people. Sometimes all we need in life is a conch sandwich, a rum runner, and a new stamp in our passports.