People & Places

  • Best Political Gaffe

    Pembroke Pines Mayor Alex Fekete's Porn

    We know that a lot of guys, including mayors, enjoy some Internet porn. And there's nothing wrong with that as long as you play by a couple of rules. First of all, you gotta keep your wanking rate below that of the average zoo monkey. And second, you need to hide your tracks. Everybody knows it's going on, but that… More >>
  • Best Scandal

    North Broward Hospital District Readers' Choice: Miriam Oliphant

    Not even those overwrought 1980s prime-time soap operas -- like Dallas and Falcon Crest -- ever came up with a better script than what's been happening at our public health system. It begins with Austin Forman, the scion of the county's most powerful family. J.R. -- I mean Austin -- rigged a sweetheart deal with the tax-subsidized North Broward Hospital… More >>
  • Best Reason to Read City Link

    Um. Oh. Well. Uh. Shit. You're younger than you think you are. … More >>
  • Best Radio Personality

    Jim Mandich Readers' Choice: Neil Rogers

    You don't so much listen to Jim "Mad Dog" Mandich as you rubberneck him. He's a loud, obnoxious, full-of-himself, loutish, often-wrong boor. In other words, he's perfect for that abrasive medium called radio. What's more, Mandich is perfect for sports, especially since he's a former jock himself, having played several seasons as a mediocre tight end for the Dolphins. With… More >>
  • Best Sun-Sentinel Writer

    Michael Mayo

    Pretty much the Sentinel's bite-size version of Jim DeFede, Mayo's heart is in the right place. The former sportswriter has a conscience and a Jimmy Breslin-like way of reporting issues rather than just commenting on them. He zeroes in on controversial topics and provokes meaty debate. Willing to cast a withering sidelong glance at the folly of our ways, Mayo… More >>
  • Best Palm Beach Post Writer

    Pat Moore

    It's an old standard in the news business that any reporter on the same beat for more than a few years is probably a hack. That's far from true for Pat Moore. She's in her 25th year at the Palm Beach Post, covering nothing more significant than the courthouse in the paper's Martin County outpost. Despite job offers in the… More >>
  • Best Herald Writer

    Carol Marbin Miller

    Best Herald Writer Carol Marbin Miller The Miami-Dade Regional Juvenile Dentention Center is a dreary place. Lots of kids have hated it over the years, and the Herald has done some pretty good, aggressive stories. But when 17-year-old Omar Paisley died last year of a ruptured appendix, Herald social services writer Carol Marbin Miller picked up the challenge. Soon a… More >>
  • Best Correction Best Journalistic Restraint

    The Palm Beach Post, October 3, 2003 Sun-Sentinel Travel editor Thomas Swick

    A story in The Palm Beach Post Wednesday on the history of cross-dressing included a reference to former FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover as 'a closet cross-dresser.' Most historians have concluded that Hoover was not a cross-dresser, despite the rumors that have circulated for years. The story appeared on the front page of the Accent section." That's pretty darn… More >>
  • Best Unintentionally Funny Headline

    Miami Herald Obituary, December 4, 2003

    Eye Doctor Helped Blind Patients." All we wanna know is, did he hold 'em down or actually poke out the poor bastards' peepers. … More >>
  • Best Typo

    The WB's full-page ad for its reality show The Surreal Life

    Reality shows became so ubiquitous there for a while that it became second nature to ignore them. And that would have been the case with The Surreal Life, an utter time-waster starring Ron Jeremy, Tammy Faye Messner, Vanilla Ice, Erik Estrada, and some other losers. Above their mugs, brief descriptors floated, identifying Jeremy as "the Porn Star" and Tammy Faye… More >>
  • Best Effigy

    6007 Garden Ave.

    There's no doubt that carrying a gigantic cross on your back makes for a damn good workout. And it's undeniable that Jesus Christ had a handsome physique. Need proof? Check out the life-size statue of him at 6007 Garden Ave. in West Palm Beach, which clearly shows the benefits of his workout regimen. It has rock-hard abs and a Lou… More >>
  • Best Mile of Palm Beach County

    Lake Trail, Palm Beach

    You can't drive along the best mile of Palm Beach County; you have to walk or ride your bike. The town of Palm Beach is located on a barrier island, and tucked behind the mansions on the Intracoastal side, you'll find the Lake Trail, a paved path where you might bump into trust-fund kids on rollerblades or island residents walking… More >>
  • Best Politician

    Dean J. Trantalis Readers' Choice: US Rep. Clay Shaw

    A handsome man with a slim figure and kind face, Dean Trantalis in many ways represents the new Fort Lauderdale. In a city where the mayor is openly homophobic, Trantalis in March 2003 defeated the wife of County Commissioner John Rodstrom (also homophobic) to win a seat on the City Commission. He became Fort Lauderdale's first openly gay commissioner. He… More >>
  • Best Mile of Broward County

    Hollywood Blvd. between City Hall and Young Circle

    Best Mile of Broward County Hollywood Blvd. between City Hall and Young Circle Wings n Curls and Burger King; billiards, spas, and realty CPAs for income tax; suitcases for luggage racks Firestone glows neon red; wheelchairs and Murphy Beds, limos and Argentango; karate and aikido... Subway, Kodak, Papa John's; dinette sets and Fancy Paws. World World Corp. … More >>
  • Best People-watching

    Worth Avenue, Palm Beach

    Best People-watching Worth Avenue, Palm Beach See Dick leave his mansion in a blazer, a bow tie, and velvet slippers! See Jane in her Botox and new nose! See Spot drink from the Spanish-tiled "Dog Bar" (water fountain) that's built into the street. See Don King, Rod Stewart, Rush Limbaugh, Jimmy Buffett, Donald Trump, and Venus and Serena Williams… More >>
  • Best Scenic Drive

    Riverland Road between State Road 7 and Davie Boulevard

    Best Scenic Drive Riverland Road between State Road 7 and Davie Boulevard Apologies to the good people of this central Broward neighborhood, for they don't deserve gawking motorists puttering around their sleepy side streets. They clearly have invested well in old, varied houses. And they have resisted the conventional temptation to eradicate all vestiges of nature along the way. They… More >>
  • Best Place to Dump a Body

    26.11.44N x 081.18.24W

    If those dumb-ass kids from Bully had known about this place... well, Brad Renfro never would've had occasion to steal that boat, put it that way. Trust me, this is the place. Unless you own an airboat, this is as remote and inaccessible as it gets. Take Alligator Alley (I-75) west. Go past the Miccosukee Reservation into Collier County and… More >>
  • Best Escape from the Apocalypse

    Peanut Island

    If bombs start falling or an asteroid strikes Topeka, it may be time to head to Peanut Island. The man-made stretch of sand between Palm Beach and Singer Island hides a presidential bomb shelter built in 1961. The Secret Service built the shelter during the Cold War. Then-U.S. President John F. Kennedy's aides figured he could make it to… More >>
  • Best Weekend Getaway

    Flamingo Lodge, Marina, and Outpost Resort Readers' Choice: Key West

    So you're feeling stuck in the city. Unable to think because of the swarms of people, cars, and corruption. Well, get thee to America's most famous watery park, where you'll be able to feel the kind of isolation that most of South Florida only dreams of. And try it in the summer, when even veterans often avoid the Glades. Rooms… More >>
  • Best Place to Take Out-of-Towners

    Big Cypress Seminole Reservation

    Forget Las Olas and Fort Lauderdale Beach. Give those out-of-towners a taste of the real grit-in-your-teeth, mosquito-in-your-ear, 'gator snappin' Florida. Here's the Sunshine State without the convention-and-visitors-bureau crapola. The village is a little bit of modern-day, Native American life in a clearing in the middle of the Everglades. Sure, there are guys who wrestle alligators for your entertainment (look for… More >>
  • Best Hotel

    The Chesterfield Hotel

    You gotta love a hotel that encourages you to get busy between its luxurious sheets. The Chesterfield offers a "Sex, Body, and Soul" package that includes a one-night stay, a bottle of massage oil, chocolate truffles, bath salts, a spa treatment, and -- dig this -- energy bars. It also comes with "a romantic book that offers ways to maximize… More >>
  • Best Place to Hang Out with Treebeard

    Hugh Taylor Birch State Park

    By the age of 5, most South Floridians would rather watch their television flicker than have a close encounter with nature. But perhaps because of the popularity of Lord of the Rings, it "Ent" impossible to get those kids interested in the gigantic Lofty Fig at Hugh Taylor Birch State Park. How could they resist the opportunity to hang out… More >>
  • Best Item to Keep in Your Wallet

    Broward County Library Card

    The Broward County library system offers a zillion free resources in its one main, five regional, and 33 branch libraries. There are also three reading centers and four bookmobiles. If you're not into, like, reading, man, then try the 35,243 DVDs and 184,539 VHS tapes, which give you a selection that makes Blockbuster a real bust. Then there're the CDs… More >>
  • Best Ego

    Tim Smith's

    You'd think being landslid out of office might end the average would-be author's hope of writing a how-to on becoming a political success. But that didn't stop Tim Smith, who was routed by Jim Naugle in last year's Fort Lauderdale mayoral race. The former city commissioner didn't let the sudden and bitter end of his political career stop him from… More >>
  • Best Local Website

    miami.craigslist.org

    Ignore the text-only design that seems a throwback to the early days of the World Wide Web. The Miami section of craigslist.org -- which includes browsers from across South Florida -- is arguably one of the most dynamic in the online subtropics. Craig Newmark founded the nonprofit online community in San Francisco in the 1990s at the urging of friends.… More >>
  • Best Local Blog

    www.hatless.com

    We've often thought of starting a weblog to dump all of our mad, misplaced, and most brilliant thoughts, but the need isn't pressing as long as we have Steve Koppelman around. Koppelman, who lives in Fort Lauderdale, runs the wonderfully named www.hatless.com, a website where he unloads his mind on readers lucky enough to find him. Also called "Steve Koppelman's… More >>
  • Best Science Fiction

    Creation Studies Institute

    If you can't beat science, join it. Or at least appropriate its patois, as this institute has done. The brainchild of Tom DeRosa, an acolyte of D. James Kennedy's Coral Ridge Church of Intolerance, CSI wants to prove the Bible is fact using science; this is a somewhat inverted notion of how scientific discovery works. "Without Creation, then God's Word… More >>
  • Best Free Parking

    Street meters just off Las Olas Boulevard

    Parking on Las Olas Boulevard is a renowned pain in the derrière. The finicky, quarters-only meters prompted one restaurateur over the holidays to hire an 18-year-old fellow on a full-time basis to stand around a side lot making change for customers. The ravenous meters on the street slurp down spare change like Pac-Man gobbling power pellets. Fail to feed these… More >>
  • Best Fundraiser

    St. Joseph's Episcopal Church

    Imagine God giving you his blessing to play a practical joke. That's what it feels like -- even if it's clearly not the case -- when you give the kids in the youth group at St. Joseph's 30 bucks and the street address. They'll arrive at your buddy's abode in the middle of the night with their truck full of… More >>
  • Best Tourist Trap

    Hollywood Beach

    You just spent three months chipping ice off of your front steps and hunching your shoulders against the frigid north wind, which keeps coming like a sumo wrestler. Those Anglo-Saxon, winter-resistant genes are wearing thin. So jump in the car and drive the 2,500 or so miles to Hollywood Beach, mate. See what a doughty little Florida city can do… More >>
  • Best Retro Video Games

    Boomers!

    Remember when you were 10 years old, sitting in a pizza parlor with your parents as the large video games in the corner beckoned you with their bells and flashing lights? You'd get a quarter from Dad, your hands greasy from pizza, and then slide that silver coin into Centipede. It would light up; the sounds would blare. You'd wrap… More >>
  • Best Use of Subliminal Advertising

    Keno Bros. Jewelers

    This small jeweler on the corner of Sunrise and 20th Avenue looks like a modest mom-and-pop joint, but if you've ever been stopped at that light and let your eyes drift to its marquee, you would see hilarious phrases like "We Accept Visa, AMEX, and Sugar Daddies" and "Buy Her a Diamond or Someone Else Will." Who says romance is… More >>
  • Best Place to Beat the Heat

    Glacier Ice and Snow Arena

    Hockey at this hot spot is played in several forms. One, the ice version, which requires skates that may be rented for a couple of bucks on top of the $6 rink admission. The others, of the dome and air varieties, require quarters. But you're here to beat heat -- why sweat? Grab a beer from the snack bar, prop… More >>
  • Best Place to Spot Celebrities

    The Cheesecake Factory

    When it's Florence Henderson's birthday, everyone knows it. At least, everyone at the Cheesecake Factory on Las Olas, an eatery the former Brady Bunch mom frequented while she was performing in the Florida Follies down the street at Parker Playhouse. Back in February, she was spotted by several hungover 20-somethings enjoying a sensible salad with a group of girlfriends. After… More >>
  • Best Political Activist

    Jane Kreimer

    She attended her first North Broward Hospital District meeting in 1993, angry about what she felt were bloated salaries for officials. Back then, Jane Kreimer, a native of Pittsburgh, was a 69-year-old grandmother who lived in Pompano with her retired husband. Since then, she's become a most dogged watchdog of the controversial -- and utterly corrupt -- public hospital system.… More >>
  • Best Place to See Lake Okeechobee

    Port Mayaca

    Searching for that elusive Big O, only to be stopped cold by a 40-foot dike? Or maybe you've tried to take a gander at Lake Okeechobee, the second-largest freshwater lake fully in the United States (the Great Lakes are half in Canada, eh), only to gaze upon marshy islands or grassy shoals instead of the open water of the 730-square-mile… More >>
  • Best Landmark

    The Fort Lauderdale skyline

    Remember when the downtown skyline of Broward County's largest city was just a scattered handful of high-rise office buildings? If you've lived in South Florida for more than a few years, of course you do. And if you go back more than two decades, you'll remember a skyline distinguished largely by the edifice widely known as "that big brown building… More >>
  • Best Place for Boys to Meet Boys

    Publix Super Market at Five Corners Plaza

    Craving hot buns? How about a big, fat sausage? The Publix at Five Points can satisfy just about all your needs. Sure, it's got food, but it's also got men -- gay men -- and lots of them. Just about every Tom, Dick, and Harry cruises the aisles at "The Gay Publix," conveniently located in the heart of Gayville (that… More >>
  • Best Place for Girls to Meet Girls

    La Bare

    So "Harley" is revving his motor in your face, and you don't know whether to laugh or laugh. For a not-so-small fee ($10 for ladies age 21 and older; $15 for ladies 18 to 20), you can witness a crowd of strictly women hootin' and hollerin'. Why is it that men sit at titty bars in dumbfounded silence while women… More >>
  • Best Place to Meet Members of the Opposite Sex

    PetSet

    People say that you find love when you're not looking for it. But most people are idealistic morons who blow every chance at love by using other people to validate their narcissistic delusions. So, who cares what they think? The peeps at the nonprofit Humane Society of Broward County started a young professionals social group called PetSet, which puts the… More >>
  • Best Place to Volunteer

    West Palm 100

    Back in October of 2003, ten friends in West Palm Beach met in the back room of an Irish pub in the hope of organizing the city's growing community of young professionals. The group they formed -- including lawyers, teachers, and even a few politicians -- became West Palm 100. It holds regular happy-hour parties and organizes monthly volunteer work,… More >>
  • Best Place to Check Your E-Mail

    Goldfinger North

    This midrange strip club in suburban Sunrise has everything a hard-working gentleman needs: two computer terminals with high-speed Internet connections where you can take a break from lap dances and leering to check your e-mail and stock prices. Or you can just send a nice note home to the old ball and chain: "Hi, honey. I'm swamped at work! Be… More >>
  • Best Sex Jobs

    Adultstaffing.com

    Instead of bustin' your hump for The Man, you could be the man humping a bust for a livin'. Or a woman. You'll find work aplenty for both sexes posted on www.adultstaffing.com. The help-wanted postings are conveniently listed in categories such as bartenders, dancers, sex video performers, escorts, sales/marketing, and webmasters. And judging by some recent help-wanted ads, South Florida… More >>
  • Best Spot for a Bachelor Party

    Captain Pete's Houseboat

    Just north of the island of Palm Beach, smack dab in the middle of the Lake Worth Lagoon, sits a 169-year-old cabin plucked from the shores of Cape Cod. Just looking at it will sober you up. The cabin arrives every winter from its former home up north thanks to Capt. Pete Mason, who dropped the building onto a catamaran… More >>
  • Best Place to Live Free

    Sunsport Gardens Family Nudist Resort

    Given South Florida's subtropical climate, it's summer nearly 11 months out of the year. And about seven of those are so hot and muggy that your T-shirt is soaked with sweat the minute you walk outside. So it's no surprise that it's not the most popular destination for camping trips. But that doesn't mean our region is unsuitable for the… More >>
  • Best Local Girl Gone Bad

    Mary Carey

    Prestigious Pine Crest Preparatory School has been sending academic overachievers to Ivy League schools since 1934. But no alum has been in the news in the recent year as much as the Class of 1998's (and Boca Raton's own) Mary Ellen Cook, better known as Mary Carey. The star of fine pieces of pornography like Grand Opening and Boobsville Sorority… More >>
  • Best Reason to Live in South Florida

    Tourists

    They draw constant derision, what with their silly accents, their tucked-in shirts, and their strawberry-shortcake tans. But who among us would truly banish the tourists? In a world without tourists, who aboard the Jungle Queen would we moon from the riverbanks? Who would patronize those delightful rickshaws? Who would keep the economy flush enough so that we don't have to… More >>
  • Best Bush in Executive Office

    West Palm Beach Police Chief Delsa Bush

    Not Dubya. Not Jeb. Delsa. The 43-year-old single mother of two was recently installed as the new chief of police for West Palm Beach. That makes her the first woman and the first African-American to serve as the city's top cop. Essentially the CEO of the largest municipal department in Palm Beach County, Chief Bush is responsible for overseeing a… More >>
  • Best News Anchor

    Jackie Nespral Readers' Choice: Dwight Lauderdale, WPLG-TV (Channel 10)

    In the delightfully ephemeral world of television news, most female anchors rely on two God-given gifts: girl-next-door beauty and the uncanny ability to unleash a vacuous giggle on the male co-anchor's cue. A notable exception to the rule is NBC 6's Emmy-winning Jackie Nespral, whose dark good looks are rivaled only by her wit and drive. Nespral, a South Florida… More >>
  • Best Weathercaster

    Pamela Wright Readers Choice: Jackie Johnson, WSVN-TV (Channel 7)

    Look, we don't want to rain on weathercasters' parades, but they are at the very bottom of the television news ladder. Half of them steal their forecasts from the National Weather Service, and they're still wrong a lot. Their greatest talent, generally speaking, is the ability to pretend they're looking at an imaginary map. And then there's the fine art… More >>
  • Best Noon Newscast

    WPLG-TV (Channel 10)

    Daytime news broadcasts are often quite fascinating. Not for news, which they generally lack, but for the bizarre and unsettling combination of gruesome fatal accidents or murder stories with the cheery talk about other goings-on and weather. The juxtaposition can produce a disturbing effect that David Lynch can only envy. But Channel 10, the local ABC affiliate, takes its daytime… More >>
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